Location: New York City
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? Week and a half
How would you best classify this hookup? Some touching with new acquaintance
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was relatively tall, about 5’7″, straight brown hair. She looked good in her dress when I first saw her. She is thin but has curves as well.
I had known her for a few weeks, met her through work. First hook up.
When I first saw her, I knew she was older than me, she had a serious face so I thought she had been working in our field for some time. She seemed independent which was very attractive to me.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We went to a bar after work one night. I was in the midst of a change in my life, shedding the vestiges of a lingering relationship, and making some career choices. Not sure how significant this was, but I happened to have done reiki for the first time earlier this day.
Most significant about our time at the bar is that when I tried to guess her birthday, I guessed her brother’s. He had passed away a year before and she was sad and cried a bit about it. In some way, I feel like the three of us were connected in that time.
Anyways, after that conversation happened she kissed me [I should mention that I tried to kiss her the previous week but she did not seem so ready for it]. After the kiss we left the bar and went to my apartment. I was pretty sleepy at this point.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It started with some making out in my living room. We shed most of our clothes and made our way to my bed. I noticed a few things during this time. She was self conscious about her body, I think she didn’t like her small breasts, and she didn’t want me to pull away. I noticed that her legs and hips were really beautiful.
When we got to my bed we got fully naked. I was slightly troubled by two things. Firstly, she had not once touched my penis and I took off all my clothes myself. Secondly, she was completely unshaven and, although it isn’t always so important for me, it sort of turned me off in this case. I wanted to do some oral but after seeing this, I was less motivated to do that.
We began to make out and she repeatedly said that I needed to use a condom. Although, she is right, I really don’t like to use condoms and would have been happy not to use one.
We were both ready for PIV [Penis in Vagina] sex but my penis would not get hard. Eventually I gave up, played a little with her using my hands and then fell asleep.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I found her very attractive and thought she might be someone to see again in the future.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had about 7 drinks each
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt okay about our hookup but realized that I had lost most of my attraction to her. I think that I had perceived her as an older, confident woman and expected her to be more active in the bedroom.
I was unsure about how I felt with regards to seeing her again, but as time passed she texted me more than I would have liked and my perception of her became less and less appealing. I also had a particularly busy week and a half since the hookup and felt that I was more interested in the things I was doing than her.
At this point, I am trying to figure out a way to convey to her that I’m no longer interested without being mean.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I spoke about it very briefly to a couple of my close guy friends. I didn’t share many details though.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? yes for both
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was caressing her hips and legs the next morning.
The worst was being unable to have vaginal sex.
I think the experience made me consider that many hookups probably don’t lead to vaginal intercourse.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative