Friends of Friends

by Gina
Gender: Female

Age: 28
Race/ethnicity: Italian
Location: Italy
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Teacher
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Monogamous
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

men_vs_women_sticker-p217139293343831421qjcl_400Friends of Friends

How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup? something else

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? G was a tall, fair, very attractive man, 10 years my senior. Beautiful eyes, gorgeous face, looks like an actor. I met him at a night club through common friends. My flatmate was studying with his friends. I was in a complicated relationship at the time so I was generally disinterested in flirting. He attracted my attention but I tried to avoid him. I thought he was far too attractive for me. Nobody like him every gave me such attention. He came to me and started dancing very closely with various attempts to kiss, which I stopped. Although I really wanted to kiss him, at the time I wasn’t a fan of kissing someone who I just met.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At the end of the night he invited me to his place but I politely rejected. We exchanged numbers and he called me the next day. We went out for a coffee and then walked around the city until we were around his neighborhood. We went upstairs, because he wanted to show me his photography collection. After several hours of talking and laughing, we kissed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was an incredible kiss I still remember. The kiss made me realize I have had truly unfulfilled and unhappy relationships. It was a long kiss with a lot of touching and clothes came off. We had sex in multiple positions. I enjoyed it but I wasn’t feeling 100% comfortable as I still hadn’t resolved my previous relationship. I don’t think he enjoyed it very much. I was probably quite awkward. After we finished he asked me to stay over as it was too late, but for whatever reason I said that I would like to return home.. so I left.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom. We did not discuss STIs but we did discuss that both of us had long relationships in the past.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? After 2 long relationships it was the first time I felt so attracted to a person. It boosted my confidence and I thought that if I rejected him I would have regretted it.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Just a glass of wine. I should probably have had more, as I was very tense.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup I felt bad because I felt I didn’t satisfy him and that I had cheated on my boyfriend. However, I decided that I would like to get to know G better. I broke up with my boyfriend. G, however, never returned my messages.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my friends, who knew him, about it. They were also concerned about the fact that I was still in another relationship. Years later, we agreed that I did the right thing to pursue pleasure.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual for both.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I regretted it at the beginning because my life was quite complicated, which did not let me enjoy the moment. For a long time I felt that G found me just weird and awkward and I probably was. I tried to contact him quite a lot, even though he made it clear that he wasn’t interested. I was quite hurt. After some time passed though, I enjoy the idea that it was a learning experience which led me realize how unhappy I was, because of my own choices.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing was that he was a very attractive man and that made me confident. He also made me less rigid and proper. I broke up a poisonous relationship and met a wonderful guy, with whom I am happy, have great sex and am emotionally very open.
The worst was the tension I felt. I didn’t let myself go and enjoy this experience.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I believe we should do things that are worth our time. My hook-up was a great experience and learning process in all aspects.

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