I Don’t Date Women That Sleep With Me On The First Date. Do I Need To Repeat Myself?

by That Divorced Forty-Something Guy

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 46
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Vancouver, BC, Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Medical – Critical Care Paramedic
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Open to what is there in front of me at any given time
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I did not know I needed to count. 50+?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None – if I understand your question

I Don’t Date Women That Sleep With Me On The First Date. Do I Need To Repeat Myself?

How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I had been single for a while and was thinking of entering the dating market again. I had tried the old fashioned approach of saying hello to women at grocery stores, department stores, etc, but none of that seemed to work. I then tried to find someone online. Enter Tinder. I hit it off with a few women and decided to meet the one who made me laugh the most. She seemed funny from our texting and messaging and then we decided to chat over the phone. Same great connection, so we decided to meet after a few days of texting and one day of talking. She looked like her pictures! Average height, very attractive, and dressed very well.

I felt happy and excited to meet her prior to actually coming face to face with her and I was pleasantly surprised when I did meet her, as she looked like her pictures and we were able to carry on our playful banter.

We met at a local restaurant for drinks and a meal if we hit it off. Well that was my plan!

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We both realized we clicked through text and talk and figured why not meet and see if anything was there. I do not remember who suggested drinks and then dinner if we hit it off, but that was the plan. We met in the parking lot and We gave each other a hug. As soon as the hug ended, she said, “Why don’t we go back to my place.” I suggested a bottle of wine on the way so we could have a drink while we talked. Yes I said that. Talk.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Once we got back to my place and I poured some wine, she kept inching closer to me on the couch and made her obvious sexual desires known. I decided that since she had not actually listened to me early on about texting and talking, I might as well take what I want.

I grabbed her glass of wine, put it on my coffee table and led her to my bedroom. She seemed delighted at this.

I proceeded to tell her that I was going to have my way with her over the next few hours and then did so.

We fucked in every conceivable position. Anal. Oral. I tied her up. I used a belt on her ass. I dropped hot wax on her clit. I made her cum a few times. I eventually came (I wore a condom and always take longer when I do). I seemed to have done a good job as she really wanted to come back the next day for more.

After we said our good byes, she texted me that night asking to see me again. I did not respond. She called me that night and I said I was not interested in going out with someone who would fuck me on the first date, let alone the first time we meet in person. She seemed shocked. I reminded her I had told her that and had actually tried to brush off her advances, but when it became clear to me all she wanted was a fuck, I said what the hell and jerked off using her as a tool. Harsh, yes. Truthful yes, that too.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt fine about it.
I think she was upset she didn’t get to see me again … then again, maybe she just wanted to get fucked again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To cheer myself up

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend.

He wasn’t really interested.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Best?

I guess it made me feel sexually wanted, but at the same time made me feel like a piece of meat.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Being made to feel like a piece of meat and not listened to.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I guess sometimes women just want to get fucked and will do or say anything to get that.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is just that. People should be free to enjoy sex as long as all people involved are saying yes.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Pretty cool

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!