Imprudent Infidelity – Chaos Inevitably



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Vienna, Austria
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 80
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Imprudent Infidelity – Chaos Inevitably

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 month ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? one night stand turned into a relationship

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I saw him twice before that day, one time a few months back outside of a bar, I noticed him but didn’t think about him afterwards, I was there with my boyfriend. The second time I saw him at a house party of my ex girlfriend (who turned into a good, platonic friend). He talked to me, a few people were standing in the corridor and when he heard, that I live very close to him he asked me where exactly and something else I don’t remember. Then he left and again I didn’t think about him afterwards.. But while we talked I noticed that he is tall, and I like that. He seemed nice, but to be honest I thought he’s probably pretty boring, despite the fact that he is a musician. He is not sportative, quite thin actually.. Brown hair, brown eyes and pretty pale. At that party he brought an instrument with him I didn’t know and we all wanted to hear him play, I can’t remember what he showed us but since then he seemed interesting and likeable.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My ex girlfriend asked me to go with her to his home concert, which was 1 min away from home. I was in the mood for meeting new people. On that day I masturbated for quite a long time, my boyfriend didn’t want to fuck me because apparently I sounded too needy. Under my boring blouse I wore expensive lingerie.. Why I put it on I don’t know, I honestly haven’t had in mind that I want actual sex. Before the concert began he told us that we should try not to go to the toilet, because it distracts him. After 1 beer and over 20 mins waiting, I had to go pee.. That was the moment when he thought I was unfriendly. After the concert he was busy talking to other people, he was clearly not interested in me. That made it more tempting for me. I wanted to stay there with my friend after everyone else went home. She also said she was tired but I needed her to stay. We three drank a lot of wine and talked about everything under the sun, he mentioned that he is also interested in science and we were finally getting along.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? On the couch, I pulled a blanket over our heads when my friend went outside the room. I spontaneously kissed him. He looked totally surprised and turned on. When she came back she fell asleep soon afterwards, meanwhile I put my hand on his thighs and slowly moved my fingers towards his crotch. We looked into each others eyes with desire. He stood up and went to his bedroom, I followed him. He told me to go on my knees while he unzipped his pants and pulled out his big cock. I really like to give blowjobs so I did it for a while until he hastily put on a condom and told me to knee on the couch. I pulled down my tights and he fucked me doggy style. It was pretty hard and a little unkind, I assume that it was the kind of sex you have with prostitutes.. A lot of his actions reminded me of porn. Then he said I should turn around, but I said no because I felt so bad for what I did, but then I turned around because it doesn’t change anything when I see him fucking me or not. I felt the guilt right away. Overall I think I was satisfied.. Still I had tears in my eyes when he fucked me from behind, but the combination of sex and emotional or physical pain was nothing unusual to me. After he came I quickly woke up my friend and told her that I want to leave immediately, so we left and talked for a few minutes on the street. I felt remorse..

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was devastated, I knew I destroyed what I wanted to have, a future with the person I love. I went home and broke up with my boyfriend. Later I found out that I’m bipolar, which had influence on my actions. In hypomaniac episodes I don’t feel love the same way, it is not important. I knew that I will be alone after this hookup, it was not possible to go back together with my boyfriend, since it was the second time I cheated. After that hook up we met almost every day, at the beginning it was just sex and talking, but after a while we both developed feelings for each other and we are now in a relationship. We talk very open about sexual desires and I don’t want or feel the urge to cheat on him. He wants to see me having sex with other men and women and he would like to be involved too.. but unfortunately that is something I’m don’t want to do at the moment

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, Boredom

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, antidepressants

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked with everyone who is close to me, infidelity is not alright they said, I agree

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I cheated on my boyfriend

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was exciting and I liked his dick

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? my emotional state of mind

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It showed me that I normally don’t care about casual sex, but when I’m sexually unsatisfied for a longer period, I seek to fuck strangers

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!