It Happened Just This Once



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 60
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Spiritual
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

It Happened Just This Once

How long ago did this hookup happen? 16 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was 44 and he was 29, although I didn’t tell him my age and I guess he assumed we were about the same age, as I look much younger than I am. He was cute; slim and athletic with curly light brown hair and brown eyes. Told me he was of Greek heritage. He had a fun energy and was out partying with a group of his friends. I was out with some girlfriends and we happened to meet in a club. That first night there was a huge attraction and we made out like crazy, just couldn’t keep out hands off each other, much to the amusement of all our friends.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I gave him my number and he called a couple of times. We had nice chats over the phone. Then I stopped hearing from him so I mentally filed it away and carried on. Then, after about 2 weeks he called and asked me to join him and his friends the following evening at a different club that was a regular hangout of theirs. It was near my place so I met them there. We had a nice time hanging out, then everyone decided to go to his condo and I went along. It turned into a very late evening, and I stayed after his friends left.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?  At some point, he had told me preferred anal sex. We’d been drinking and making out all night (again), so I was rather primed. The sex began vaginally, but then he pressed for anal. Anal sex isn’t my favorite but with a gentle partner it can be nice. He was rough in the execution. In my opinion, he wasn’t a very giving lover and just took care of himself.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I left in the morning. We talked about getting together again the next evening. I didn’t hear from him again, nor did I call him ever again. Seems to me we had a mutual understanding that this was enough.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I’ve never told anyone.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? It was a rather empty experience. I’ve never sought out another such encounter.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The excitement of the unknown. I’d never had a sexual encounter with someone that I basically didn’t know.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Bad sex.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I learned that casual sexual encounters are not for me.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? A once in a lifetime experience for me and that was enough.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? To each his own. People will continue to do what humans do, based on their needs, circumstances, personalities. Just hope everyone stays safe and can mentally handle putting themselves out there.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!