by Jane Doe
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Late Night Call
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, gangly, and had curly hair. This was the first time we had met, and I felt apprehensive because of his past drug abuse.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It began in my apartment. It was late, and I was lonely. I had been drinking quite a bit and wanted some company. After chatting and listening to music for a while, he asked if he could kiss me.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We tried to have vaginal sex, but he couldn’t keep it up with a condom on, and he had decided to snort Ambien in my bathroom, which in hindsight I’m really unhappy about. He went down in on me for a bit, and it felt pretty nice. He was really into my breasts, so he started fucking my tits.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He slept over, which I thought was nice, but in the morning he wouldn’t get up, so I had to ask him to leave. I don’t feel great about it today. We used protection for penetrative sex but not for the oral sex. His past drug use makes me anxious about his status. It was an awakening that I’m not making choices I’m happy with and need to be more careful in the future.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol,
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. I am keeping this one a secret. I might talk to my therapist about it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? This isn’t the kind of person that I usually associate with.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I learned something new about myself.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Anxiety the next day about STIs.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It had made me realize casual sex may no longer be for me, and I need to drink less.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I enjoy casual sex, but my health anxiety does not let me enjoy it. I wish sex education were more available, and I wish people were more accepting of it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s a great way to share experiences and realize you’re not alone in your choices.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!