Learning Experience

by NikkiD

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New Jersey
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Fitness instructor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Learning experience

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last fall

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? A little older about 35, muscular and slim. Amazing eyes that I couldn’t turn away if I wanted to. I had a boyfriend who I am engaged to now and was commited to and would never imagine cheating. This guy complimented me on my body and looks and told me how pretty I was and made me feel good about myself but also made me feel safe. I hesitated because I had a boyfriend but convinced myself that it was harmless flirting.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My best friend moved to another state and she was always the wild one that would get me in trouble when I was younger but she was the fun one of our clique. As most of us moved on to get married or find serious boyfriends she was the one still single and it was hard not to fall back into old habits and feminist being in college and single and carefree. I went to visit her for a weekend and we went to a nightclub and two guys started talking to us, my friend wasted no time getting physical and making out with the one guy and I was talking to his friend and being the wingman. I made a point to mention my boyfriend and I thought it meant I was safe continuing with the conversation if he didn’t walk away. We had a few more drinks and I felt guilty how attracted to him I was and the alcohol definitely lowered my inhibitions and judgement but I also knew what I was doing. Drinks led to dancing which led to being closed and grinding and led to making out. I have a petite body and on the crowded dance floor this guy and his strong body against me made me feel safe from the crowd. We continued to make out heavily and he felt me up a lot, I could feel how hard his cock was under his jeans and was crazy aroused. We stepped outside to get a break from the noise and smoke a cigarette and continued to hook up outside. My friend came outside and she said she wanted to go back to the other guys place and have sex with him and so the four of us left.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got back the guys condo and my friend and the guy retreated to his bedroom to have sex, the other guy and I were on the couch and had a couple more drinks and continued making out. In the back of my mind was the thought of my boyfriend and the slight guilt but I remember thinking I was in this far already I’ll deal with the emotions later, I knew I wanted to have sex with him. Making out led to him reaching in my pants and fingering me and I was extremely wet, he pulled down my leggings and undid his jeans and underwear, and I straddled him rubbing my pussy against him through my panties while making out some more. Even though I was on birth control I asked him if he had a condom and he said yes, we continued in that position while we kissed and he took off my shirt and bra. My panties were super thin and he was practically inside of me anyway and the head of his cock pushed against my panties pushing them to the side and I felt the tip enter me which made me drip and scream, I pulled my panties down and guided him inside me and I was so turned on hearing him moan I felt so good, his hands were cupping my ass and he went in and out of me, I realized he still hasn’t put the condom on but it felt so amazing I didn’t want him to stop. He rolled me over on the couch on to my back and we continued missionary, French kissing while his cock went in and out of me slowly which drove me over the edge, I orgasmed and screamed and dug my nails in his back. He started pulling my hair which really turned me on and he kept saying how good I felt and kept telling me how hot I was which was a major turn on, I kept thinking how he wasn’t wearing a condom and the possibility of him cumming soon but the taboo of the thought sent me over the edge and I came again, I knew he was about to come and I pulled him closer he yelled out “oh fuck” and I felt his cock jerk and spasm and a sudden warmth as he came deep inside of me, He came so much I could feel it drip down my ass cheeks and as he came he slapped my ass which nobody ever did but turned me on so much! I immediately thought of my boyfriend and how I just cheated on him but the sex was so good it actually lessened the guilt. We got dressed and smoked a cigarette on the balcony while making small talk about the gym, and how we both hated seafood. My friend and the other guy finished soon after and when she came downstairs we both said our goodbyes and walked back to our car and left. He did kiss me goodbye and I was turned on especially feeling him start to drip out into my panties. This was my bad girl side that I hid away for adult life and I felt satisfied and naughty and guilty at the same time.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We never exchanged info and I wouldn’t have wanted to since I had a boyfriend. My boyfriend and I got engaged a couple months later and I made peace with myself that I needed to get one final
Fling out of my system to settle down. Although I felt really guilty the whole thing made me realize that I felt an enormous amount of internal conflict about settling down with my boyfriend and never having any other sexual partners again. This guy made me feel sexy, wanted and desired and it also made me realize that was something my boyfriend used to do but took me for granted. This made me realize it was missing from my relationship and it also made me open up a dialogue with my boyfriend and reinforce how I needed that from him.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just my friend because she was there. Part of me really wanted to confess to my boyfriend because the guit was really getting to me but I realized it would only hurt him and I had to accept the consequences and deal with the emotions myself. Although I don’t regret it I also wouldn’t Cheat again.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Just the guilt of cheating even though it was a growing experience

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was intense and very satisfying and spontaneous.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The guilt of cheating and failing to use a condom in the heat of the moment.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think when a woman has casual sex she is judged more harshly than a man which isn’t fair. I think part of being sexually healthy is to experiment with casual sex to make you a better partner later on when you are more focused.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think this is great that there is an outlet people can share life experiences and place their stamp on life.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!