Loneliness + Tinder

by rainmaker

Gender: Female
Age: 32
Race/ethnicity: Mixed
Current location: Los Angeles
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Music
Relationship status: Long Distance
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Loneliness + Tinder

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? No prior relationship before we met on Tinder, very attractive.  My girlfriend lives abroad and I haven’t seen her since May.  I just got off tour and had been feeling restless like I needed to hook up.  This girl messages me on Tinder and was very straight to the point – she was looking to hook up too with no expectation of a relationship ..which is perfect for me considering I was technically cheating on my girlfriend.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at midnight in a whiskey bar and talked about life on the road (she’s a comic).  Her body language was telling me that she was attracted to me even though we were just engaging in small chit chat.  She opened up this app called Periscope and essentially started live streaming our date.  She then went on to tell me that she had posted my pics to her followers asking whether or not she should meet me.  Apparently I got the seal of approval ..and all these messages started flooding in saying, “you two look hot together” “you should hook up.”  She then told me I was the cutest girl she’d met on Tinder and asked if we could go back to my house.  I told her I wanted to kiss her, asked if it was ok and when she said yes, I leaned in and went for it.  Not wanting to be that couple that makes out at the bar, I grabbed her hand and we made our way back to her car where we drove back to my house.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After a somewhat awkward meeting with my roommate (who was also aware that I was about to cheat on my girlfriend), we went back to my room.  We sat down on the bed and started passionately making out.  She was going really fast, within 5 minutes, she had taken her shirt and my shirt off and was pulling my hands down her pants.  She was definitely passionate and really into it, I went down on her until she came and then she reciprocated.  We didn’t really talk about much – it ended when we both started to fall asleep.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t (even though I said I did) ..I never have an orgasm during a one night stand.  She said she did ..it sounded and felt like she did as well but when sleeping with a woman for the first time, who can be entirely sure.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? none and noe.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Lonely, restless, long dry spell and I was missing my girlfriend a lot.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? 2 drinks each – I definitely woke up with a hangover

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt somewhat satisfied – sometimes i just want to cuddle with someone and it’s hard to do that without having sex with them first.  I have no expectations for a relationship, she was really cute and I wouldn’t be opposed to sleeping with her again but I’m not going to reach out.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? yes and yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes and No ..I enjoyed myself and definitely needed the sexual release.  I felt bad the next day when I woke up to a bunch of texts from my GF telling me she misses and loves me.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing was that I got to have sex with a hot woman. I got the contact I was craving and coming to terms with the fact that I haven;t been able to remain in a monogamous relationship for quite some time.  I don’t feel open enough to let my girlfriend know that while we’re living separately, I will be actively seeking sex partners for fear that she will leave me.  I get to a point where all i do is think about sex and the only way to stop is to go out and do it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I hooked up with a different girl the night before who was much more reserved in bed.  I appreciate someone who’s a little more freaky.

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