Lowered Inhibitions

by Frank

Gender: Male
Age: 22
Race/ethnicity: White/Caucasian
Current location: New York
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Developer
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Gay, but have had female partners before.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 22
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Lowered Inhibitions

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I had been on grindr for some time after breaking up with my last ex – just browsing and chatting, with no intention of ever meeting up. This guy started talking to me and he seemed very intelligent. He was considerably older than me, about 34, and had stubble and a muscular body. We talked about our nights, what we did for a living, and what drugs we liked doing (namely marijuana and mdma.) I liked him a lot, and felt that this could be a positive hook up.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began when I was at my friend’s apartment drinking and smoking weed. I got a text from him asking me to meet him, saying that he had good molly for us to use and that we could lay around and fool around in his bed all night. It was somewhat out of the blue, and we had only been messaging each other for a few days. I said “hell yeah” and took the 6 train down to his midtown studio.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When I arrived, we took the mdma and started talking about our lives. We talked about how he used to have cancer, and how my sister had cancer now. We talked about a lot of intimate stuff. Then he offered me a drink and told me he was going to put some “GHB” in it. I had no idea what it was, just that it was a CNS depressant and that it was used in date-rape sometimes. I said ok, and downed it. A few minutes later he was fondling me and telling me how attractive I was. We were naked in seconds and soon he was trying to put his unprotected dick inside my ass. I told him we needed condoms after a few pumps and that this was my first time. He kept trying to convince me we didn’t need them, but eventually we walked to cvs and I paid for the condoms. Then when we got back, he continued trying to fuck me without a condom, and I let him for a few minutes before I freaked out and told him to put one on. Throughout this whole ordeal, he kept offering me huffs of poppers. They gave me a headrush and made my chest feel very warm.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did not have an orgasm, and could not achieve an erection throughout the duration of the encounter, even though he did give me half of a viagra pill at the beginning. He could not orgasm during intercourse with a condom on, so eventually we stopped fucking and I masturbated him until he ejaculated while watching porn.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I insisted upon using a condom, but that was after having already had his unprotected penis inside me. When I went to the bathroom I found blood in my stool, and was convinced I was going to get HIV. We did not discuss STI history, so when I was finally lucid, I went to an urgent care on the UES to pick up a prescription for post-exposure prophylaxis, which I had to take for a month. As of now, 3 months later, I am HIV negative.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was inebriated and looking for a casual encounter to get my mind off of my ex-boyfriend.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, many drugs and a lot of alcohol was involved. I’d say throughout the night I had 4 strong mixed drinks, smoked a joint, had .2g of molly powder, 1 ecstasy tablet, no-idea-how-much GHB, and 10 huffs of poppers.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, I laid in his bed while he started getting antsy. He got up and cleaned the apartment, while I lied on the bed watching TV. After a few hours, he came back to bed and started caressing me again, but by this time, I was starting to sober up. So I quickly got up, got dressed, and left, telling him I needed to be somewhere. I received a text from him about 30 minutes later saying “that was weird…” and I responded saying that I needed to lay in my bed while I came down from the drugs. I do not expect to see this person again.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I only told my 3 roommates, and my best friend about the hookup. They all insisted I go get PEP at the doctor since we had unprotected sex.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? This was consensual for both of us, and I’d say I enjoyed it while it was happening. However, I do not think I would have bottomed if I had not been given GHB, and I definitely would not have allowed a raw dick anywhere near my ass.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I regret not using a condom from the get go, but otherwise I do not regret this hookup.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this hookup was that I finally bottomed and actually enjoyed it. In 5 years of having gay sex, I had never bottomed. I think that the drugs played a large role in lowering my inhibitions.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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