What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 38
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? UK
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Finance
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 31
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Married But Separated One Night Stand
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month
What was your relationship status at the time? Separated
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Fantastic body, skinny, brunette, dark eyes. We met at a networking event in London in 2007 long prior to my marriage and have communicated off and on ever since. I was instantly attracted to her and but not sure if the personality chemistry was there for a relationship
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was separated from my spouse and happened to be in her part of London for a conference. Rather than commute 2 hours each way or get a hotel over there she said it would be fine if I crashed with her for a few nights. We were sitting on the couch and she reached over and began unbuttoning my shirt and took off her trousers.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I performed oral on her, nipple kissing, missionary, and scissor-style sex. All in all, she was magnificent in bed but made some strange orgasmic noises. She was enthusiastic and ready to go again the next morning. We agreed that as I am still married and uncertain of where my current relationship will go that this doesnt nee to be discussed or disclosed to third parties.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt satisfied as I hadnt had proper sex in over a year but confused with my current status. I was hoping to see her again and we parted very amicably but when I visited with her at a friend’s family function she was distant and aloof and asked for a ten day break in communication.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A friend of mine that lives in the states, they thought it was great.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I think it may have been premature and had I dealt with my marital issues sooner this could have been a more productive experience for both of us.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Feeling needed, wanted and desired by a beautiful woman.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The emotional ambiguity and cold treatment afterwards.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I had loads of casual sex before my current marriage. It reinforced the fun aspects of it but also the emotional downsides.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? The details are something I am unlikely to share with anyone except perhaps my therapist. If my marriage ends, this is a woman I will pursue but not in the near future.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it depends on the person. My marriage is in a dark place. The lack of intimacy and sex was a huge factor by both of us in getting us there. I enjoyed my sexual escapades in my 20s/early 30s in London but recognize the shallowness and regret not investing more in a few of them.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? interesting concept
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