What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Italy
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? No
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Zero
Met a Girl on the Bus
How long ago did this hookup happen? Two years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’m from Italy, but I was studying in Los Angeles when it happened. It was my first week there (first time in the US), and I haven’t had time to make friends yet. So one night I decided to take the bus and go shoot some pictures with my camera in downtown LA. On my ride back, I was alone when this girl get on the bus with me. I immediately noticed her but I was too shy to ask her anything because my English sucked (and it still sucks) and I really didn’t know how to approach a girl anyway. She came close and asked me if that bus was going to Westwood. I played the “I’m not from here/I’m Italian/not sure/blabla” card, and she opened her eyes widely like I was an alien and she started asking me what I was doing there/how long/why etc. ((She was 21/latina/really good looking). The ride was pretty long, I would say 30 to 40 minutes, so we had time to talk about everything included the infamous “are you single?” question, which in Italy nobody dares to ask. Ever. But I thought that was the usual behavior of everybody there (asking what you do, are you single, etc), so when we get out of the bus together in Westwood, I – still – was too ashamed to ask her number. So she did, and we start texing each other that night and planned to go out the next evening for a drink.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? There was no planning. We drank a couple of beers and we had a normal conversation. I mentioned how uncomfortable I felt in the apartment I was living in because it was dirty and it smelt of marijuana and I think I kind of arouse her curiosity and eventually, we went out of the bar and I asked her if she wanted to see it. She said “yes” and there we go.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As soon as we get in the apartment, we sat on my bed. I wasn’t drunk at all, but she was tipsy enough to come close to my face, so I dared to kiss her. While we were kissing, she put her hand on my dick, and took my pants off. I did the same and the real fuck started for good 20 minutes. I invite her to stay over for the night, since she was already here, but she insisted her parents wanted her at home before 2AM.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great. We kept texting each other and we met a couple more times, but we never fucked again. After that week I started having a roommate. The other guy was always home playing videogames and I didn’t know how to ask him go get out because I had to fuck that girl. She couldn’t invite me to her place, she said because during the day she worked and in the evening there’s her whole family at home.
We’re still friends and sometimes we chat on social media. For sure next time I’m going to L.A. I’m gonna invite her to see my room. My hotel room this time.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just a friend, she said it was a great way to start my summer school.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The fact that it happened casually.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact that we couldn’t keep it working.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think there is a lot of hypocrisy about it in society. Lots of people do it but they condemn it publicly.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great, thank you for letting me share my story.
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