What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 47
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Chicago
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Stay at home mom
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Met on Adult Friend Finder
How long ago did this hookup happen? 15 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, with brown hair and brown eyes. He’s not muscular, but not fat either. He was okay looking, not ugly. I didn’t know him well. We met on Adult Friend Finder. We emailed a few times and then agreed to meet. He was married as and said he wasn’t sexually satisfied in his marriage.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We first met about a week before the hook up just to make sure we had some things in common. A week later he made a reservation at a hotel and I met him there.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to meet him. I thought he was dorky but okay looking. He phoned me and told me the hotel name and room number. When I got there he had CNN blasting and it was annoying. He left the TV on the whole time. “Things happened quickly and he performed oral on me. I can’t remember if I gave him oral or not. He wasn’t very relaxed. I remember his cock was ugly looking. It was the first time I saw one that was ugly. He put a condom on and fucked me missionary. I didn’t really want to fuck him but I was glad he wore a condom and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. It was cold and mechanical. Not satisfying or erotic. He wasn’t a good lover. We didn’t talk much after that. He mentioned he wanted to see me again. I had no interest but didn’t say that to him. I just want to get out of there.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I wanted to go home. I didn’t think much about it since it wasn’t that great of an experience. No future with him! I have no feelings for him, but wonder if he’s still married.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, Boredom, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My husband since he was letting me test the waters.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? Wasted my time.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? When I got to go home!
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He was boring, cold and mechanical. No wonder his wife wasn’t fucking him.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I would still have casual sex with the right partner. I would make sure to have a strong sexual connection and interest in the person. I would want to see his package up front.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Picked the wrong guy.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I haven’t had much casual sex. I married at 22 so for the first 8 years of marriage I was only with my husband. He encouraged me to have sex with other men. Two of them I really liked and had a connection with. One went on for 8 years. I enjoy having multiple partners and it makes the sex in my marriage better. My husband likes it when another man can pleasure me. I enjoy making that connection with another man. If I could see anything change it would be to not look down do much on casual sex encounters.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love reading other people’s experiences. Makes me realize that it’s okay to have casual sex as long as you’re safe about it and find the right person to have it with.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!