by Left of Center
What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 37
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Military
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Fluid
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Well over a hundred.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Just starting.
How long ago did this hookup happen? A few months ago.
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was somewhat junior to me. A decade younger. Fellow enlistee at a conference. We met through Grindr and chatted through the day. Stocky, built, hispanic. Not my usual type but he had a cute smile. We managed a quick hello but then he got dragged off by his group and I with mine. I didn’t really expect anything to come of it.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I stayed in that night but he apparently went out till midnight. He started texting me on the cab ride back to the same hotel I was in. He was clearly slightly drunk, horny. I invited him to my room. I quickly showered and waited. When he knocked I let him in. We both mentioned our respective husbands and how we were in quasi-open marriages. I thought that was nice. I pushed him down on the bed, pulled his cock out and began with me blowing him.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Mutual blow job, some kissing. He wanted me to fuck him, he’ usually a top or so he claimed. I didn’t have any lube so we did the best we could with spit and pre-come. He rode me until he came. He was starting to fade so I told him good night and he left. It was nice. We agreed to doing it again if our paths ever crossed in the future.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We’ve flirted via text since then. FB friends now. My husband thinks he’s cute and if we’re ever in the same space might even consider a spouse swap.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My husband. He appreciated the honesty and didn’t mind the actual act.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Fun, feeling wanted, someone fresh and new.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not having a second night at the conference.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? He tasted good.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My relationship with my spouse is improved by our communication on this topic.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting. I liked the New Yorker article.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!