My First BJ Wasn’t Private!

by Tay

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? None
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My First BJ Wasn’t Private!

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I knew him through friends from high school. He was fairly buff with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He was known to be a player so I never anticipated being with him since I was a virgin. But I thought he was kind of cute.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We went to a party and everyone was drinking. I get very horny when I’m drunk but I had never done anything except make out with people. I sat on his lap and we made out for a bit. Then, he passed out because he was really drunk. I assumed he was out for the night and I was fine with that. He was sleeping on the floor and my friend and I also had to sleep there with a few others because there were too many people. As I was falling asleep, he woke back up and began rubbing on me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was very tired, especially since alcohol was involved so I tried to give him a hand job. He kept asking for a blow job instead. I eventually caved, thinking it would be nice to try it now when I can blame any mistakes on alcohol. About 40 minutes or so in, he still hadn’t finished and went to the bathroom because he said he had to pee. When he got back we just went to sleep.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Since no one finished, it was pretty awkward. But that’s not even the worst of it. Turns out, all of my friends in the room were still awake and heard the entire thing! The only good thing from the encounter was the boy telling me later that I gave one of the best blow jobs he’d ever had and it was just the alcohol that kept him from finishing. Still, I regretted it.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex occurred.

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told all of my friends and they were excited for me and thought it was funny.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? It wasn’t private or even remotely romantically driven.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being told I give good head.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Everything else.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Most definitely! I used to sometimes question myself in my choices to put off sexual intercourse. However, once I knew how much I regretted giving random blow jobs, I knew I wanted to wait to have sex with a romantic partner.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? While I wish it didn’t happen, I don’t feel sick about it or anything. I don’t regret it to the point where I constantly wish I could change it, I just wouldn’t repeat the mistake if I was in that position again.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t mind when people have casual sex. A lot of my friends do. It’s just not for me. It isn’t remotely enjoyable for me when I don’t feel a close connection with my partner. I’ve had few random hook ups but I regret them all in the sense that there was no point and I gained nothing from the experiences.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s interesting. I like reading the stories and hope at least one person finds this one enjoyable, even though I know it is very PG in comparison to others.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!