by Violet Hill
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Asia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
My First Experience in a Love Hotel
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was medium height, Caucasian. Dark hair, cleanly shaven, broad shoulders, strong arms. He had a cheeky smile and genuine dark brown eyes. I like the was his eyes squinted when he laughed or smirked. I knew his first name and nationality before the hookup. I met him in a club, whilst on a research placement in Japan. He was passing through. I didn’t ‘feel’ anything about him before the hook up – I was intrigued to find out more once I’d met him though. He wasn’t the best dressed guy in the room, but he had such good energy.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began in a club on Tinder, sort of. I had been invited to the international mixer by a fellow expat that I had matched on Tinder; upon meeting him, he was lovely but not my type. I was glad we’d met on very neutral and social territory. He went to the bathroom and I pan the party only to catch the eye of this dark haired handsome fella who just looked like he was having the best time. It was a mixer so I decided to do a little mixing, I smiled and he walked towards me to say hello. I met him halfway and we made introductions and I guessed where his accent was from and I got it wrong but that led to more conversation.
My Tinder friend returned and I introduced them to each other before the dark haired man returned to the friends he’d come with. The night went by and I bumped into dark haired man, who attempted to introduce me to his friends but stumbled on my name, he was like this is ….
I interjected and said EMBARRASSING. All in good humour before I properly introduced myself again. My Tinder friend called it a night and he was off.
We got to talking and I went to the bar and bought us a round of tequila. He bought the next, his friends left and I bought us the round after. We’d both missed our last train home and the people we’d arrived with had left so it seemed we were ‘stuck’ with each other, in this foreign city until 6 am at least and neither of us had a problem with that.
There was no planning involved He said he was really keen to try out a love hotel, and when in Rome, right (or rather when in Tokyo you do as the Tokyoites)? I thought why not. It took a little looking around and getting rejected because of our lack of language (there was no room at the inn for two non-Japanese speakers) skills until we found a hotel that’d let us stay.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Oral and vaginal sex took place. Once we arrived at the hotel, he was keen to take off my all clothes and he got straight into the oral sex before he had undressed. It reminded me of a scene from the vagina monologues where the lady talks about how she learnt to love her vagina from a lover. He was fascinated by my vagina and he took time to really take it in, insisted on keeping the lights on so he could “see what was going on” and marvelled at how beautiful it was. He was completely entranced, and I tried to move him along a little but he kept at it and it was such a turn on. I really felt beautiful in that moment with him seeing the euphoria and awe-like expression on his face. He was an attentive, selfless and giving lover.
His dick was a good size, not too big and not too small. He had a good girth which felt amazing. I felt at ease to ask for exactly what it is I wanted with, he liked it when I begged him to spank me and to not hold back. He would stop, stare at me and have me spell out exactly what I wanted. He would eat me out and come up to kiss me so I could taste myself. Things got really sweaty and we decided to give the jacuzzi bathtub try.
This was the most experience of the evening, I had my legs wrapped around him and we just talked about everything and played with his hair. He’s travelling around the world on a motorbike so that was really interesting, I had so many questions. He asked me about what I do, what i’m passionate about. We were both in a foreign city so we talked about what had brought us to the far east. I asked him what had made him come over and say hello in the first place and vice versa.
He finger fucked me till I came in the bathtub. We left the bath and he dried and massaged me and I blew him to get things going again. We both ran out of condoms so had to use google translate to get the Japanese word for condom before I went down to reception to purchase some more. We mainly fucked in different variations of missionary style and doggy style, I rode him a little as well. I love doggy style because he would spank me and he really got to drilling me. It drove me insane when during sex he slipped a finger into my asshole. I came whilst in missionary position with my legs on his shoulders I could really feel his cock deep inside my pussy, he continued to pound me and I wrapped my legs around him as I could feel him getting close, he proceeded to give me the best strokes of the night until he came too. He lay there on top of me and we were both so sweaty, there was no telling whose sweat what whose.
We tried out all the switches on the side of the bed hoping one of them would make the bed vibrate, which none of them did. I felt really at ease with him. He was a light spirited man with a wicked sense of humour which bounced of my sarcasm and wit. The conversation flowed quite freely in between the sex. I learnt a lot from him and his perspective on things. I really enjoyed holding him and having him hold me. I liked the wrinkles around his eyes that would appear when he smiled.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We left the love hotel, got a coffee. and said sayonara. He asked for my email address but couldn’t take it down because his phone had died. I took his, I haven’t gotten round to messaging him yet. One day if we’re in the same part of the world i’d love to go for a few drinks and for a game of pool and maybe I can cash in on that ride on the back of his motorcycle he offered me. I feel neutral about this person, I’m glad I met him and we shared the experience we had together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend from home, whose first reaction was how stupid of me to go out alone in a new country and that HE COULD’VE been a serial killer upon which I replied it’s a good job he wasn’t and we laughed about it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The fact that we got on so well. It was just so much fun and pleasurable for both of us.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The bed could’ve been more comfortable
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yeah, it has made me feel empowered about my sexuality.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My opinions are changing. I was raised to with the idea that men only wanted one thing and that I ought to ‘cherish’ or ‘preserve’ my womanhood because no man wanted to marry a woman that had slept around. The first one night stand I didn’t feel comfortable whacking out a condom (and waited for him to rummage around for one) in case he thought I was too forward despite the fact that I was completely naked, in his bed. I now have a more healthy relationship with casual sex, I am empowered to make decisions about the best contraceptive methods for me and I wouldn’t be caught dead out of the house without at least a condom cause you never know what might happen. I think casual sex should be more widely discussed so more women feel empowered to take control of their sex-lives and protect themselves
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think the work the project does is important. Sex is a big part of our lives and we are increasingly alienated from other people.
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