My First Shared Experience

by JoAnn

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 53
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? America
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8 or more before I got married
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none

My First Shared Experience

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was handsome, at least I thought he was. He was tall, slim, with an athletic build, and younger than me.
I got to know him at the hotel we were staying at.
I had just met him that week.
I was very attracted to him. We met while relaxing at the pool. I was swimming and he jumped in. When I got out and sat down on the recliner, he sat down next to me and we talked.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Actually, the idea of hooking up started when I was reading the casual sex project. My husband and I were having some problems in the bedroom. He was the one that suggested I maybe get something on the side. He wasn’t pushy about it, and while I didn’t agree immediately, after 31 years of monogamous marriage, in the back of my mind I was intrigued.
Reading about how other women expanded their lives by having casual sex made me wonder. I knew that I could handle it since I was quite promiscuous before I got married. But like most women, I wondered how my husband would react when it was fantasy as opposed to reality.
Anyway, the younger man and I became very flirty at the pool and when we left and walked back to our rooms, he was on the same floor, 2 doors down.
My husband was napping on the bed since he’d been at the gym. Then suddenly I thought, “well it’s either now or never”, so I slipped out and knocked on his door. He answered, but thought it was housekeeping. He had a smile on his face, it was dazzling. I took a deep breath and I asked him if he wanted any company. He said of course and invited me in.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I don’t think that he had any doubts about what was on my mind and want I wanted. After he shut the door he immediately took me into his arms and kissed me then slipped my damp swimsuit off. He was very dominate, which I found stimulating. We didn’t talk much at all. When he laid me on the bed he was all into controlling foreplay. Rubbing, caressing and tasting me until I had an orgasm. He was well endowed, but not excessive which also excited me. It was all so good, starting slow, with a lot of kissing and building up to some hard pounding. He came inside me which was out of this world because during those last strokes he stared into my face and drove in deep like he was stabbing me with the shlong.
He was a bit cocky as he asked if that was good. It was frigging great, so I said yes, gave him a kiss, slipped my swimsuit back on and left.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I went back to my room, and my husband was still asleep, which was a relief!! I got in the shower to clean up. I was beginning to feel better, then I felt his stuff leaking out. Damn no condom, I hadn’t even thought about that. When it happened it turned me on, but now all I could think about was getting an STD.
I had no expectation of a future.
I got exactly what I wanted, great sex and then not having to worry about even seeing him again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Sterilization

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more confident, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell my husband until I had my third test for STD and they all came back negitive.
That was a relief.
When I did tell him, he surprised me as he seemed mildy miffed and amused. Miffed because I was up front with him when it happened. Amused because I told him in the beginning that I wasn’t interested and was satisified with our sex life and he was right about me.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Because we didn’t use a condom or ask each other about our health.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I honestly thought that I could live without sex. The experience was extremely gratifying and some how fulfilling, like it filled a need that I didn’t know I had.
Also in a strange way, it opened up a new understanding between me and my husband.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Being selfish and not using a condom

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I had thought that I’d never want to look for sex outside my marriage. Things change from when we are young, we never anticipate the phyical things that happen as we get older.
It’s funny how our relationships can evolve.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is a wonderful forum.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!