My Friend’s Ex



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Seattle, Washington, USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? A bit fluid
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My Friend’s Ex

How long ago did this hookup happen? Six Months

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? His name was Darius, a handsome African American man in his early thirties. He was tall, fit and quite muscular and also quite intelligent. I actually knew him quite well, he had dated a close friend and former roommate of mine Angie for nearly three years. I had always thought he was attractive but never had quite considered him a sexual partner before this.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was at a party with a number of friends and friends of friends and so on. I hadn’t seen Darius since he and Angie had a rather epic blowup shortly before their split. I was also recently single at the time, having just split from a boyfriend three months prior. At the party I had talked with a few friends and had a beer when Darius arrived.
I had said hi and we had started talking. I had always liked Darius and even Angie admits she was the reason for their split (she had cheated). One thing led to another and he and I ended up outside making out and it felt good to have someone’s hands on me again.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We ended up back at his place since it was close. Darius pretty much tore my clothes off and bent me over a table and thrust himself into me. It felt great being with someone again and he fucked me hard and came inside me.
Afterwards we moved to his bedroom and chatted a bit and he rubbed my pussy and played with my breasts and felt me up a bit. I ended up mounting him after a bit and riding him until I came and he finished inside me again and he had his hands all over me and I kept leaning forward to kiss him. Afterwards we fell asleep.
In the morning I awoke face down with a bad headache. Darius was asleep and I grabbed a shower and when I got out he offered me breakfast and then a ride back to my place. I have to say it was a great night and I rather enjoyed myself.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We texted back and forth a bit and some if it was pretty steamy. He admitted he had always kind of liked me. I felt a lot better about myself and my breakup after. In the end Darius and I decided that because of his long history with Angie and because he was her ex that perusing anything further than a single night was not a good idea.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Normally I am pretty open about my sexuality but considering Darius was a friend’s ex I decided not to tell anyone.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I feel like I crossed a line since Darius was Angie’s ex and I feel like I crossed a line. She and I are not as close as we were used to since she moved out a while back but an ex is an ex.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was pretty good.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The regret after.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really in any of those ways

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I will share more with my next post.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s played a big part in my life and it does in society.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I have found this site very interesting and it is good to find others as open about sex as I normally am.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!