My Moves

by Clare

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4

My Moves

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last year

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This guy was a slim man who looked to be his late twenties. He had kind of that bookish look about him and looked pretty shy but he was really handsome. Had a great jawline. We met at a bar I was at with some college friends.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was drinking with a group of my friends and we were crowding round the lounge section of the bar. This guy (lets call him Dan) was sitting at the bar with a bunch of mates but wasn’t really talking. He looked kind of miserable. We exchanged a few glances and I felt so hyped because I was in the mood for a one night stand and was hoping he’d come over and talk to me but he never did. When some of my friends suggested bar hopping to another place I felt like I’d lost my chance. So I chugged down some more drink and walked right up to him. Something I’d never done before because guys have always made the first move on me. I felt giddy and excited and I ordered a drink before turning to him and asking what he was doing here. I felt kind of stupid and was scared he would shut me down but he actually broke out in a grin and we talked for the rest of the night before going to his apartment.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I went down on him for a good twenty minutes and it made me feel incredibly powerful because I teased it out and he moaned and grabbed onto my hair. His dick felt incredibly thick and I gagged a couple of times. When he ate me out his tongue felt so strong and he not only licked me but rubbed my clit as well. I had to grab onto his headboard to steady myself. Because I’d instigated this I felt the need to be more powerful and have a kind of new persona because usually I’m more submissive. I swore and moaned and flipped him over and rode him.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I actually left that night because I felt a bit uneasy staying at his place with his roommates and I wanted to be in my own bed. I think that shocked him a bit and added to the feeling that I was this new powerful woman. I got a friend to pick me up. I never saw Dan again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Plan B / Emergency contraception

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, To cheer myself up

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My girlfriends. They were really happy for me because usually I’m the least sexually adventurous person in the group.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Feeling powerful and having the luck of finding a great guy. My other one night stands have not been so pleasure inducing.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? In the heat of the moment I decided a condom didn’t matter. Took plan B.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love casual sex and after this experience would like to have it more.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!