Not A Good Experience



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 53
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Professional
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Not A Good Experience

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? After 26 years of marriage, I was looking forward to a single life and dating. Being a good person and fairly attractive, I didn’t think I would have any problem finding a boyfriend. After a year of intensive search and many first dates, I realized that dating nowadays in 2018 is not what it used to be. Most of the men I met were looking for a casual relationship, or there was just no chemistry. My friends told me to give a chance to a casual encounter, and maybe it will turn into something more.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I met Stephane on Tinder. He was good looking with a healthy sense of humor. He found me attractive too and despite the fact that our first date was at McCafe over a free coffee because he had coupons, I agreed to meet him in his house a few days later.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After spending an hour in front of a mirror, dressed up and in heels, he welcomed me in front of his (mom’s) house in shorts and barefoot. He offered me a glass of red wine that was open, in the fridge, and a piece of his frozen pizza.

After a few minutes, we moved to his bedroom. I promised him a massage and was happy to do it. When he turned on his back, I started kissing his body, moved down to his inner thighs and his balls. When I took his penis into my mouth, I felt him enjoying the moment. I made him watch me as I was going up and down so he could have a mental image later. Then we moved to some kissing and another blow job. Even though he didn’t go down on me or performed any foreplay, I was looking forward to feeling him inside. I was moaning and enjoying it for a short time; then, he changed the position before I could cum. Twice. He asked me for a hand job, which I did, but didn’t expect him to cum so fast. He went to wash up, returned to bed eating chip next to me. At this point, I got mad for his selfishness. He said he couldn’t do anything more for me. Seriously? For a 45-min massage, 2 BJs and an orgasm, I got a few seconds of his dick inside me. Not a good trade.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I got up and left. I spent another 90 minutes driving home. I felt used like I serviced a guy. I still feel like it, and it will probably stay with me for a long time. I partially blame myself. I should have known that he’s cheap after the coupon at McDonald’s, but I didn’t want to judge him and wanted to give it a chance after reading many success stories on this website.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? A small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have not told anyone. Too ashamed to share it with friends.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? It lowered my self-esteem.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Nothing. Not even the wine.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The feeling afterward.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I will never have sex with another man without getting to know him better.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wish I could forget the whole thing.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Never again.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great reading. I’m happy for people that have good experience with casual sex.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!