What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
The One That Everybody Wanted
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is a friend of mine. He is attractive, muscular and toned. I met him through mutual friends. When I first met him I thought he was quite creepy. He put his arm around me straight away and immediately started to discuss sex. At one point his hand grazed my breast, and I felt quite uncomfortable. He was extremely flirtatious with my friends and I but tended to focus mostly on me. I expect he enjoyed the reaction he got as I would often feel quite uncomfortable. Once when we were really drunk on a night out we had got slightly cut off from the group. We started to flirt quite a lot and talk about what we were going to do to each other but was pretty light hearted and jokey. I mentioned that he should get together with one of my close friends as she fancies him as a way of diverting the situation away from flirting. He said that they were just friends like he was friends with me. We sneaked into a hotel and got high in the bathroom. He asked to touch my bum. He told me he would fuck the shit out of me. I said, I thought we were just friends? I told him that I would make him wait for it.
I did not really fancy him before apart from on a purely physical level as he has a great body.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were at a mate’s house and we had got pretty drunk and high and then we all ended up back at mine. He passed out in my bed, and the rest of my mates went home because we were all pretty messy. I asked him to sleep on the sofa, and said he could have my duvet but he said he wanted to stay in my bed. He was face down on the mattress. I started to get undressed and was standing in my underwear. He looked up at me and then he asked what am I doing. I said looking for something to wear in bed. He asked me to show him my bum. I turned around and showed him. He chucked his t shirt at me and I put it on and then took off my bra underneath the top. “Come here,” he said.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started kissing and got undressed pretty fast. I remember feeling pretty disorientated because I was so drunk. He started kissing my neck and my breasts and squeezing my bum and breasts pretty hard. I remember he had his hand around my neck most of the time. He struggled to keep an erection though, because of all the drugs. He fingered me pretty hard and knealt down and pulled my pussy to his mouth and started kissing it. He watched me touch myself. I fucked on top and missionary and doggystyle but mostly he could not keep an erection so he fingered me. He did keep an erection but just for a short time before loudly cumming inside me. He was pretty rough. Holding my kneck and pushing me away when I tried to kiss him. I did try to give him head but it actually made me gag. We did not really sleep and the next day I was really hungover. He spent the day trying to fuck me again, kissing my breasts and bum and pussy, but I felt too hungover to have sex and I was really sore.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I regretted it, because we had not used protection and I had to get the morning after pill. One of my close friends fancied him so I made him promise not to tell anyone, at which point he said, “Nothing really happened anyway.” I think he was insecure because he did not keep an erection for long.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Intoxication, To cheer myself up, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine
How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No-one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I had to get the morning after pill and I feel in a weird way that the guy I slept with has “won,: and my friend fancies him so I had to spend a good ten minutes on a night out in the pub with her and my other girl mates totally silent while they discussed how sexually attractive he was and how my friend wondered why he wouldn’t have sex with her.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The flirtation before.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Way too high. He could not get it up.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, drugs do not improve sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Getting really high and drunk and having sex means that you have less regard for safety, standards and decreases pleasure.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? There is absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex but everything that you do should be conducted with mindfulness whether its casual sex, eating, drinking – whatever you do for pleasure.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a good place to share your experiences without being judged.
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