What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? St. Louis, Missouri
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Travel nurse
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? None
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
One Night Stand At Wedding With A Married Man
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was slightly taller than me, around 5’9 or so, with light blue eyes, dark shoulder-length hair that was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck and a medium-length beard the same color as his hair. He’s in his early to middle 40s from what I gathered. Body was of medium build and evidently had not keeping up at a gym. He had a dad bod. I did not know him well, only thought I had of him was that he was nice and had a good sense of humor. I had met him the night of the rehearsal dinner. I also was aware that there was a ring on his finger. We were both in the wedding party – I was a bridesmaid, he was a groomsman.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The night of the wedding. We had danced to a couple of songs on the dance floor and kinda ended up at the same hangout spots the rest of the night. There was no planning involved and as far as I remember – he instigated it. We were both drunk but not wasted. After we had left my friends, I followed him up to his room and we talked for a good long couple of hours. After a while, he had asked what I wanted or hoped to get out of this. I was in a delicate position – the person I wanted to hear from that day neglected to contact me and I was extremely disappointed. I felt very lonely and unwanted. He had mentioned I was flirting with him for a good chunk of the night. He was not wrong. There was some touching and feeling until we dove in and agreed to the hookup.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There was a good amount of oral and kinky, dirty, submissive acts that took place. I was the submissive, he was the dominator. I’m not sure I felt much of anything during it, how horrible is that – other than how wrong it felt. He behaved exactly like I expected him to, like a dom. He was demeaning, aggressive, cold and manipulative in the moment. I can still feel where he forcefully pinned my wrists down. Not exactly lover material – but god is that hot. It ended when he came deep in my throat. He got up to go to the bathroom as I laid there for a minute or two. I dressed in the clothes I came over in and left his room to go to mine to take a shower and sleep for a little bit.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I laid in the bed for a few minutes, then got dressed and left for my room. We talked about the next day and what we would do. He wanted to be very clear he did not want any repercussions from this – as did I. We agreed to forget about it. I felt a little hungover the next day but overall regret. There are no expectations or hopes with this man and honestly kind of hope I never meet or run into him again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody – I am not sure I will ever tell anybody. For right now, honestly, I would rather erase it from my memory
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? It was wrong. He is married and I am assuming will stay married. I should have left when my brain told me to do so.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Other than the physical emotions that felt unbelievable. I will never do it again – it is the best thing to me because it was a slap of reality.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The emotional baggage that is now weighing heavily on my mind. I feel dirty, thrown away and helpless.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. Casual sex is still great as long as it is safe and the however many consenting parties are single. Unless we’re talking about swingers – in which case, by all means, have at it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It was hot, dirty, disgusting and kinky. I did things I had never done before. And it felt so good being submissive. I loved being his slave. He did keep checking on me to make sure I was breathing. But after that 10-second pause, he went right back to face fucking. I wished at the time that there was penetrative sex as that is the only way I can cum, but I am very glad there wasn’t any looking back. When we sat and talked on the bed before anything had happened – I had asked if he was happy in his marriage. He responded somewhat, but that he and his wife had an “open” marriage which made me laugh internally at the time because that is some complete BS.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? The only thing I can say is that it has made me who I am today. I was in a friends with benefits situation years ago which really screwed with my head. And after now that I have experienced a one night stand. I know to never do those two things again.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is cathartic to talk about this to strangers. Maybe at some point in my life, I will mention it to a friend. But for now, it feels good to type it out.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!