What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 68
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Physician
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Highly heterosexual with high sex drive
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? one
One Night Stand With A Famous Person
How long ago did this hookup happen? 25 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was a fairly famous doctor/professor who had written textbooks and hundreds of articles. She was a petite, dark-haired, asian brunette. We met at an educational event where she was teaching her specialized area to others. We had met over a long weekend of classes that she taught and went out one night for dinner and dancing and socializing with the group of people who were involved in the classes. I had fantasized about hooking up with her primarily because I had this off beat bucket list of women I wanted to have sex with before I died(doctors, blondes, black woman etc.). I believed sex with these women would be different and unique. She was a doctor and in my mind an equal. She was someone of equal intelligence and I thought sex with her would be different. It was a crazy assumption on my part.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began the second year I attended her classes which were held once a year. We again went out to dinner but this time it was just herself, me and one other friend. We shared a bottle of wine with dinner and took a cab back to the hotel. She instigated it by saying as we were walking into the hotel “I wish you were not married”. I replied, “Well I am not dead yet”. I knew exactly what she meant and I walked her to her room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went into her room, shut the door and started kissing passionately. She stopped and said she needed to go to the bathroom. She came out naked and asked me why it was taking so long for me to strip. She then said, You don’t need to wear a condom.” But I insisted we put one on. She wanted to start fucking in a strange position. It was a scissors position with me penetrating her sideways which I found strange. When I first penetrated her she said “You can have anything you want”, in a very seductive voice. It took me by surprise for some reason. We fucked for a while and for unknown reasons decided to take a break. She wanted to talk. She told me she was divorced, that she had two children whom she adored. We talked about all of that and life in general and at some point she started crying so I comforted her. This all happened while we were sitting on the bed naked, holding each other. Trust me a woman crying and sharing emotions like that immediately gets rid of any erection. That went on for maybe close to an hour. We again decided to fuck and I put on another condom. I rubbed her clitoris while I was inside her and she came. I came a short while after but it was the weakest and least satisfying orgasm of my life to date.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We got dressed and kissed good night. I got back to my room and masturbated and then had one of the most intense orgasm’s of my life. I went home the next day and went back to work. A week or so after some of the office personnel where I worked came up to me and said you must be having an affair because you are in the best mood we have ever seen. That got me thinking, if a one night stand like that can stroke my ego and make me feel good and then be a nicer person to everyone including my family why isn’t it OK? So what if I fool around every few months, if it makes me happier, healthier, and more fun to be around why not? Months later she sent me a letter which in my mind was nothing but business regarding the classes. I had it in my wallet and my wife read it and confronted me at dinner and asked me if I had had sex with her and I lied and said no, but my wife knew better and simply stated “Look, I’m ok with it. I’m not upset, but as a woman I can tell.” We never discussed it again. Turned out this person was even more famous than I realized because she was a granddaughter or great granddaughter of a famous King. I never had any expectations for the future though I did fantasize about hooking up with her again someday. I also came away from the experience with the feeling that in the end she was a “woman” and she was a “sexual woman” and I was a man who had sex with her. Her being a doctor, famous and all of that had nothing to do with anything. She did verify one prejudice that I had in that she was asian and I felt that during the sex she was very receptive and accepting of me being inside her which I had been told was a quality of asian women.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Power / Dominance, Making new friends, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Briefly with my wife months later and she reacted neutrally.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? It was not as satisfying as I thought it would be.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It did make me feel better about myself for a while
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Poor sex with a wimpy orgasm.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It demonstrated to me that there really was nothing wrong in doing it but the fantasy was way more exciting that the actual act. Part of that was my fault because I had a lot of unrealistic expectations as to what would happen
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It was a good thing I never got seriously involved with this person because years later her professional career fell apart and a lot of her personal problems and drama only got worse. Being involved with her would have been an emotional rollercoaster.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe people would be healthier and happier if there were opportunities where people who needed it could have casual sex without all the baggage and judgement. But how does that happen? It takes two to tango and both involved parties need to be in for the same thing and that is rare to happen.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Good Idea
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