What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40 something
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Oops I did it again
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 nights ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She is a friend of a friend and was visiting London. We had never met but I had heard lots about her as and knew she was 100% my type. She is super hot, tanned, tight body, pretty face. A definite 10. I had got home drunk after a work party when my friend called me and told me to come meet them, so I got in an Uber at 1am and did.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? There was an immediate spark between us as soon as I arrived, but I thought she was straight and I know what drunk girls are like if they think they have your attention. We went to a club, had some drinks and danced. After about half an hour my friend went out for a cigarette and then the girl started kissing me. I’m not sure if she knew that I have a girlfriend or not but I went with it anyway. There wasn’t planning per say, but I had joked with my friend that I would love to hook up with her if we ever met, which I didn’t think we would. My friend is a great wingman. All night she was really flirtatious and all over me but I said to my friend I didn’t think anything else would happen. After a couple of hours we left and went back to my friends house where we all talked for a bit before my friend went to sleep on the sofa.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started making out in my friends bed and both thought that was quite weird but funny. I took things slow because even though she said she had slept with a girl before, I wasn’t sure. After I had taken her clothes off I started fingering her, first by rubbing her clit and then by putting two fingers inside of her. I remember thinking she had a great pussy, really neat and tight which surprised me as I know she usually sleeps with black guys. I kissed her neck and nibbled her ear before going down on her whilst fingering her which is when she came. We made out some more and then she started being more assertive, first getting me to gently choke her (which I’m usually down with but because I was very drunk I was cautious about not going overboard) and grabbing my hand and putting it on her clit. I rubbed her for a bit which she seemed to enjoy before putting two fingers inside her again. She kept trying to touch me but I’m a freak with cleanliness and hadn’t showered that evening, which was annoying because I really wanted her to. Plus I also felt that was an even worse way of cheating. Usually I don’t like to receive during one night stands with girls but she was really wet which turned me on. I went down on her and she came again. She wanted to spoon but that’s too intimate, so I put the duvet between us and when she fell asleep I got dressed and left.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? When I left it was light outside so I decided to walk home. Initially I felt bad and a bit sick that I can’t stop cheating even though I try. But I also felt a smugness that I always seem to hook hot girls. The next day I was awfully hang over and I probably overthought things such as STI’s and other people’s feelings. It’s made me want to try harder to be monogamous and address some of my issues, even though I know I won’t. Saying that, I would probably hook up with her again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Cocaine, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Cocaine, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. I was texting my friend the next day but didn’t specifically say anything had happened other than us hooking up in the club. I know they’ve got my back but I don’t want text evidence or to play up the arsehole card. Maybe we’ll talk about it on Monday.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I regret that I risked my relationship again.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was fun and spontaneous.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I am in a relationship.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yeah it’s confirmed what I’ve thought for a while, which is that I have some problems. But I will probably be over it by tomorrow.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t consider myself an active ‘feminist’, however I do object to the double standards of sexually active men compared to women. If I guy sleeps with loads of hot girls then they’re a legend. If a women does then they’re a slut. Attitudes are improving a little, but I still feel like there’s judgement. Monogamy turns me off, it’s who I am and no matter how hard I try, I can’t change that. If I was a man people would accept it, and almost romanticise it (Hank Moody, Don Draper, Patrick Bateman etc), but as a woman I feel like I can’t be honest about what is essentially my kink (having multiple sexual and emotional partners).
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s really interesting
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