Out Of Control

 

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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? California
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Retail
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Out Of Control

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’m 5’6″, slim/average, 36DDs and yes, I shave completely (The point here is to paint a picture right?). “Jake” was in his mid 20’s, about 6′, athletic build (fit but not too muscular), and I guess about an 8″ dick.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A brief overview…I went to Vegas to meet some friends who own their own business. They were up there for work and some other friends were going so after the work was done they were going to make a weekend of it. Long story short, it was supposed to be just a hangout with my friend “Lisa” who I don’t see much but in the end, I saw more of their friends than they did. One in particular, “Jake” was having a spat with his girlfriend and ended up alone more often than not. I was alone too so we kind of just naturally took to hanging out together. We drank (It’s Vegas!) and just chilled by the pool to start, flirted a bit and then a bit more as the alcohol flowed. Generally, it was just a good time and innocent to start. I don’t know when it changed or what happened but it seemed like I suddenly realized the alcohol had me very warm and… ahem, tingly. And the pool area at the time was not very busy either, our corner pretty much deserted. Jake noticed too and jokingly dared me to flash him since “it’s Vegas” and “I looked so amazing.” Some wires crossed in my head and I think he saw me considering it. He made some comment how I’m barely covered in the bikini top anyway (it was just a normal bikini, not too small at all) and he could already see where my nipples were under it. Somehow in my drunken head that made perfect sense so I stood, checked for other observers, and pulled my top open exposing my boobs to him.

That pretty much started it all. I covered back up but he kept complimenting me and saying “how great they looked.” It became a game to tease him mid-sentence by flashing again when he was talking, stopping him mid-sentence.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? In my drunken state, I still thought “It’s just playing. It’s harmless.” We had moved closer as we talked and one of the last times I flashed him we were right next to each other. I was super drunk and horny from everything so when his hand landed on my exposed breast the touch was electric. I looked up and his mouth was on mine before I could focus. I didn’t fight at all either, it was like my body wouldn’t let me and my mind were way too clouded. Drunk and horny me felt amazing at the time with his hands on me. He didn’t stop there either, he pulled my top completely open, caressing my breasts and tweaking my nipples just enough to send shocks of pleasure through me. I just arched my back and let it happen, leading his lips to find my nipple and his hand to reach lower. I felt him pull my bikini bottoms aside and then his fingers run over my pussy. Somewhere a little voice was telling me I should stop it but the alcohol in my system had lowered my inhibitions and raised my libido to match so as his fingers slipped into me all I wanted was more. I quickly came from his manual attention and instead of feeling relieved, I wanted more. He pulled my hand to his dick and I felt how hard he was, when he let go I didn’t pull back I reached inside his shorts and grabbed him. I’d like to say I was appalled at myself and my actions but at the time I only wanted more and I loved the feeling of his hard bare cock in my hand. I started working his shaft but then noticed more and more people showing up in the area. I let him know and we untangled from each other.

Again, I wish I could say it stopped there but it didn’t. I wanted more and so did he so I suggested we go back to my room (since his GF might be in theirs). About 5-10 minutes later we were in my room and he was on me just as fast. Making out at first while hands wandered again, then my top came all the way off this time and he kissed his way down my chest, sucking and licking at my tits on the way of course (not that I minded), down my belly and kept going, pulling my bottoms off as he kept kissing lower and lower. I just fell back on the bed and let him guide my legs open. Here let me say, OH MY GOD! He was amazing with his tongue! Or maybe it was being so drunk and horny… Either way, it drove me insane and soon I was arching my back and grabbing his head while he licked me like it was his last meal! I think I came like 3 times before he stopped and started kissing back up my body. By the time his tongue met mine again, he was pressing into me. Gently and slowly at first but soon we were in a frenzy. We switched positions several times, from sex to oral and back again. I came a couple more times while he was inside me, the last time pushing him over too. I had my legs wrapped around him riding out my own orgasm when I heard and felt him as he came inside me. Finally, we both collapsed in a naked and sweaty tangle of limbs before he eventually pulled out and laid next to me. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, I laid next to him again, not knowing how to have the awkward conversation of, “So I’m married and you’re exclusively dating… we can’t do this again.” Then I noticed he was still hard, very hard, and he noticed me noticing. His hand found me again and pulled me to him… we had sex again (me riding him while we kissed and he groped my tits for those of you who want the dirty details) until he quickly came inside me again.

As we were finally getting dressed, he broke the silence and said what I was thinking; it can’t happen again and he won’t say anything to anyone about it. (Thank GOD!) That was it. He left, I took a shower and it never came up again. I only saw him once again too (at my friend’s house, not sexually) because he moved soon after. I guess he worked it out with his girl too because they moved in together then. Good for them.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt dirty and slutty after. I cheated and that’s something I just don’t DO! Ever! Well, I mean never before now and I don’t plan on ever doing it again! That’s what led me here, a confession of sorts to get it all out without actually telling anyone. It was my mistake and confessing won’t do anyone any good, it’d just bring pain and cause problems so I’ll bear the guilt alone. It’ll never happen again and under the same circumstances, I’d hope my husband would do the same thing. I wouldn’t want to know. Also, I was SORE the next day! And I really hoped he was clean because we didn’t use ANY kind of protection. In the end, it was ok, no pregnancy and no STD’s.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just all of you people! And I don’t know yet…

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I’m MARRIED! I should not be sucking/fucking ANYONE but my husband!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? So many orgasms! Drunk/Horny made it an incredibly hot time and he was very good at everything he did to me! Was fun giving back too, both oral and sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Guilt over betrayal and worrying (for a short time) about pregnancy and/or STD’s.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me realize you really can never say never. I said I’d never cheat but here we are. I don’t plan on ever repeating it though. As for casual sex… I honestly don’t know. I guess if the circumstances were right and my husband was ok with it all too. Of course fair is fair and I don’t know how I’d feel if it came to him having sex with another woman.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Be careful how much you drink! That said, this WAS NOT rape of any kind. I put myself in a position I shouldn’t have been in and then, even though I was drunk, went along with everything that happened and even encouraged it at times. Legit rape is one thing (and it’s despicable), but if you CHOOSE to drink too much and then CHOOSE to sleep with 1 (or more) random guys… that was your bad decision and you should own it.

Sorry, got a little sidetracked there. That’s just something that’s always bothered me about some women and their sudden cases of “buyers remorse.”

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think people just need to be more in touch with their sexuality. Not to be “sluts” or go “whoring around” necessarily, but just know what they like and what they want. If you don’t know, how can you expect your partner to?

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Seems great! Hope to hear some feedback from this. It’s been a while and I’m happy to finally have a place to express myself and share what happened.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!