Panic in the Hotel Room

 

by

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Austria
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Wiccan / Pagan
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Panic in the hotel room

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He looked good and was a very sociable guy. I had only met him that day, at the Christmas party.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He approached me and started talking to me. Then he got flirty and I didn’t mind at all because I thought he was rather handsome and fun to talk to. And we both kind of wanted to go upstairs and into the hotel room. His pretext was to “show me the amazing balcony” so after a while I agreed although he had booked the room together with a colleague who was still downstairs partying.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started kissing. He kissed really well, biting my lower lip from time to time. I really enjoyed that. Then I gave him a nice blowjob to get him “warmed up”. He didn’t want to give head but that was alright. Then he wanted to fuck me without a condom but I told him there was no way of doing it without a condom. Not even briefly, as he suggested. He probably entered me twice (wearing a condom!), then he came, panicked and ran into the bathroom where he was obviously feeling terrible about it. He kept repeating that he hadn’t had sex for a very long time. I tried to comfort him and tell him we could carry on in other ways but that didn’t work and he wanted to be left alone so I got dressed and left.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now?  It wasn’t until a couple of days later that I also found out that he had a fiancée and that she was to give birth to their first child only a few days later. I didn’t feel sorry for him at all. Actually, at first I was outraged. I felt sorry for her because she didn’t know he was cheating on her. I first blamed myself but actually now I see that it was mostly his fault. Anyhow, it doesn’t really matter whose fault it is but I can’t say I think highly of him and if our paths should ever cross again, I will simply ignore him.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My close friends. They said there was no need to worry about it and to just forget all about it and to just see it as the funny story that it was.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I pity his then-pregnant fiancée plus he was terrible in bed.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That I showed myself I had the confidence to flirt with a guy. It was quite a good boost for my self-confidence.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The hookup itself.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is alright if both partners see it as casual sex and don’t expect it to turn into something more. Openness and honesty go a long way. If this lifestyle is chosen for the right reasons (not because you don’t want to confront yourself with issues you cannot resolve), it can be quite healthy. I think women should feel more self-confident so that they care less about the ongoing stigmatisation. We’re not sluts. We just happen to be humans that want to have fun.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think the research behind it is highly interesting. Also, it’s good to read stories and feel like “oh wow, someone from a completely different place has had similar experience”. It sort of makes me feel more understood. I hope this will carry on for a long time!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!