Patron of the Arts



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 48
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New York City
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Lawyer
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Raised Catholic/converted to Judaism/practicing Episcopalean
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Closeted, conservative, reserved, but definitely gay.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? A lot.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Patron of the Arts

How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 or 8 years ago.

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Was at MOMA in NYC by myself. I noticed an older, very distinguished, seemingly heterosexual man checking me out. I have always been attracted to older men. The fact that he looked heterosexual hightened the sexual attraction.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I couldn’t believe it was happening – that an older, distinguished man was attracted to me – which had always been a fantasy of mine – was surprising. I decided to test how interested he was in me by walking slowly away from him. I turned back to see if he was following, and sure enough he was. I started to lead him down an empty hallway that I knew led to a less inhabited section of the museum. Still following. I finally knew he was very serious when he followed me into an employee only area of the museum, where we found a men’s room.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I went into the bathroom, and went into the only stall. He immediately followed me in. I was surprised when he began to kiss me. He must have been in his mid to late 60’s and I was 35-ish. He was wearing a wedding band. His passion and intensity were terribly exciting. He unzipped his pants and I got on my knees to suck his cock. After a couple of minutes, I stood up and we both jacked off together. Afterwards, we both zipped up our pants, and I left the bathroom first. The strange thing is that neither of us said one word throughout the entire experience, nor afterwards. I never saw him again, but I have fantasized about that encounter for years afterwards.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt completely fulfilled and satisfied and wondered if there was a way to repeat the experience.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The excitement of public sex, but more exciting was the feeling of being desired by an older man.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I never saw him again.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not sure. Not all hookups are as positive as this one.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I love that two complete strangers came together for a very short experience to affirm one another. It felt like each of us bestowed a blessing on the other. Beautiful.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? More generally, it has not been very positive because it keeps me searching for something like this, something that can’t be repeated.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Awesome!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!