What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? York
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Temp
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him on Fetlife – a sit a friend suggested to me to find BDSM events in my area. We were both members of a group for our city and he messaged me, just being friendly at first then asked to meet. He was a lot older than me, tall and bearded.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at the city’s museum – we gave basic descriptions of each other and then arranged a couple of cheesy lines so we could identify each other. It was the first time I’d ever done anything like this so it was incredibly awkward but liberating. We went into the museum’s earthquake house and just started making out, I can’t remember who started it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed for ages in the earthquake simulator but it became clear that other people were queuing outside because they weren’t comfortable coming inside with us so we left, we moved into an alcove next to the simulator and kept making out. Then he slipped a hand into my trousers, making sure that his body was covering mine so no-one could see what we were doing. He pulled my hair and fingered me until I came. I think someone saw us at one point and realised what was going on but it didn’t hit me until afterwards that we could probably have got arrested.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We left the museum and chatted while we wandered around town. We didn’t have anything in common except our sexual preferences. We went on one more date after that but it was too difficult to talk to him so we left it. He still uses Fetlife to talk to me sometimes but I’m not interested – he was very interested in the age difference, he kept calling me ‘little girl’ which I didn’t particularly mind but I wasn’t into the same way.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel more confident, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my best friend a while later and she laughed, she thought it was hilarious that I’d done something that reckless, it really isn’t like either of us. Much later I told a new friend when we were drunk and I think she was impressed that I’d done something like that.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having the confidence to go ahead with something and the instant attraction that was there, trying new things with someone who was interested in them.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The talking afterwards was so awkward because we had nothing in common.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It taught me some things I like and things I’m not interested in and made me more confident to ask for things or say no to things in future relationships.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I kind of miss that instant attraction with strangers now that I’m in a committed relationship. I think it’s empowering and fun when you make sure you always feel safe and can ask for what you want and stop what you don’t.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great! A great place to share stories you might not want to share with friends.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!