Racial Shock

by John Wailu Smith
Gender: Male

Age: 29
Race/ethnicity: Indian
Location: New York
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Doctor
Religious affiliation: Traditional
How religious are you? Very
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Racial Shock

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 years

How would you best classify this hookup? College Sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met my partners in college. Mostly I did it to explore my self-expression and out of loneliness. I was looking for love, but I was obsessed with sex and experiencing the nude woman.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My hookups began lots of places, and would often occur when women learned about my being an Indian. There was a rumor going around that Native guys have big dicks, and women would tell all their friends about the size of mine. The reason I had so much casual sex is that I was turned on by their reactions to the size of my penis.

Women would tell me that their friend, neighbor or classmate would tell me I was huge, and she had become intrigued enough to take me to her bed. I could not get over that this gossip connection was real.

One girl came out into the hallway at night and saw me making out with her roommate. Then she asked me to go to a restaurant with her. At the restaurant, she asked if I had a big dick. I got paranoid and asked her how she knew. She asked me to show it to her. In the bathroom, she pulled it out of my underwear and gazed at it. “It’s so much darker than the rest of your body,” she said.

Until this point, I had not realized how rare my body is. Girls had told me it was too big and that it hurt, but nothing about its color.

A few years later, I slept with a very dark-skinned Asian girl. As she presented to me doggy style and I pushed the head in, she let out a little scream, and then asked me if I was Black.

At times I have needed to plan my hookups because of roommates of the women I am with. I like the element of secrecy, because I can see how far I can penetrate before she wakes her neighbors. The women I have been with seemed more interested in my penis than in me, which is why I do not miss having casual sex. It made me feel like a museum exhibit.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? In the two hookups I described above, there was oral, especially at the beginning, but they came to me to get fucked deeply, and for no other reason. Several of them had boyfriends.

The ones with boyfriends had orgasms, and so did both hookups I mentioned earlier. I have heard that a very small group of women do orgasm from being fucked deeply, and that small group was on the lookout for me.

We would talk afterwards about our lives, our families,  other relationships. The best hookups were the ones where I fell in love, which only happened twice. In those cases there was a deeper connection.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Regular tests. Not much discussion.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Narcissism, confusion in youth, isolation, exhibitionism, self-doubt, curiosity.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Marijuana, copiously. Alcohol would prevent me from getting erect.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Only in a few cases did I expect longevity. I feel indifferent to them now.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing is that I see another side of women, so I know that a woman can become obsessed with a man’s body also. I can and do use it to my advantage.

The only bad thing was the loneliness. I wanted long term, so I stopped casual sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Thank you for this site.

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