Really?!

by Me

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 60
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Portland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Medical field
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? No
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 100
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Really?!

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Met online – texted back and forth, decided to meet. He was attractive, educated, andseemed fun. Met a bar/restaurant near his condo.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Had a drink at a bar/restaurant near his condo. Planned via texting after meeting online (Plenty of Fish). He suggested the idea and place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Seemed nice enough. Condo was full of plastic action figures. We had a long conversation with nice back and forth repartee. He finally suggested sex, so we went to bed, had mediocre sex after which he said, “I needed that.” No further contact after that. I replied that I had hoped for an uncomplicated fuck-buddy (which he seemed like he could be), but he apparently only wanted a one-time event.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Was hoping for an ongoing – at least sex/fuck-buddy relationship. Feel very disappointed that once was all and not described as such – would not have done it otherwise.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one – never shared due to embarrassment/shame.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Went into it with a different goal than he did; should have been clearer.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting over the fear of meeting new people.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not being fulfilled sexually or relationship-wise.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes- be clear about your wants and desires.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I learned that middle-aged college professors can be as irresponsible as young men.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish communication about desires could be more open, without stigma or fear of rejection.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Grand idea- we need to know more about human sexual behavior. It has a HUGE impact on the world in myriad ways.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!