What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Creative
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Horny
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? +10 -20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was average height, sandy brown hair, freckles, baby face. He was a skater so that automatically gave him an edge and really popular with the girls at school. He was also notoriously quiet and ‘innocent’. I met him originally my sophomore year by feigning interest in graffiti. We hung out, hooked up a few times (sans sex), and he blew me off one weekend only to come back with a serious girlfriend. I got over it quickly.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Well, then two years went by. One night I was standing outside a techno club with a friend about to walk in. He passed me and in my inebriated state I shouted his name. He turned around and greeted me like no time had passed. For whatever reason, I told him to come over later, just like that. He said OK. And then within a few hours, he texted me that he was on his way, so I left the club and met him outside.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was really fucked up and was originally going to fuck him with my girlfriend who was at the club with me. I had a change of heart last minute – I remember being really excited that I was finally going to fuck my crush that had blown me off- I told her to sleep in my bed and I would take my roommate’s room since she was out of town. That was totally out of character for me to be so greedy. We talked for a few minutes and then he kissed me. He felt like a high school student. Everything was super vanilla: he didn’t offer to go down on me, yet expected me to blow him. I was less than enthusiastic about it even though it’s usually what gets me going. Missionary, then doggy. I pretended to cum within ten minutes to get it over with. The lights were off. Really, it sucked. I stopped him mid-way with the idea to go up to my roof and fuck there. We made our way up and he tried to fuck me from behind with my hands on the edge of my building, but we were both not lining up. I ended up riding him until he came. Oh, and he didn’t want to use a condom, which to me just added to his immaturity and inexperience. It was very 3 out of 10.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I sent him home. When I went to walk him out, I realized that I let my roommate’s cat out of the apartment in all the chaos- that could have been bad. I actually felt better about myself knowing I had tasted him and gotten nothing from it. I’m pretty sure at the time I even made him feel bad about his performance, and I didn’t expect to hear from him. I played with the idea of giving him another chance but ultimately we never met up in that way again, and I didn’t feel bad about it one bit. Next!
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Cocaine
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell my roommate for obvious reasons. I’m sure she found out eventually that we were in her bed because she asked why the blanket was moved – I told her my other friend borrowed the duvet and she didn’t ask questions. I told my immediate friend group and they reacted with laughs. Everyone had tried to get with him at some point and most of us had the same experience.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Fucking a guy who had previously blown me off and being able to laugh about the crazyness of the night.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? His dick size, his performance, my hangover, and the fact that I was dishonest with my roommate and friend.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I thought to myself later that it was a sign to cool it with the random hookups. And I was glad that I made him feel shitty for suggesting we go raw dog.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nope!
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? A casual sex life was always something I knew I wanted to have but wasn’t ready for many years. I lost my virginity later than most of my peers but I always tried to maintain a level of self-control. I think during this time in my life, I got carried away. I wish I had trusted someone enough to let them tell me to check in with myself.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love it.
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