Settle City

by Ginger

Gender: Female
Age: 22
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: NYC
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Settle City

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 Month

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? one-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was browsing Tinder earlier in the day and he started chatting with me. He didn’t seem too promising but I was bored and horny and thought what the hell. I had been able to extricate myself from bad tinder dates before and figured I could do it again if necessary. 

In person he was a bit taller than me, dark hair, blue eyes I think. Not as attractive as I could have hoped from his pictures. Hairy.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a bar near my house, and had a couple drinks. I offered to pay for my own but of course he said he’d get it, and I let him because I didn’t have much money anyways. We talked and I laughed at his jokes but I didn’t really like him as a person. The second drink hit me really hard and we ended up sitting on my bed. I was talking about something and he told me to move closer, then asked if he could kiss me, and I guess I said sure. I think it was a forgone conclusion for me at that point that sex would happen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? His kissing was pretty sloppy. We went straight for intercourse, which was good because I wouldn’t have been comfortable doing oral with him. I think it lasted maybe 30 seconds before he came, and then he apologized. At that point it wasn’t a big deal to me and I tried to laugh it off.

I went to the bathroom and when I came back he was completely dressed, which surprised me. All of my hookups previous to this tended to involve two rounds, especially if not everyone came the first time. I think he was in my house maybe 10 minutes start to finish.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom. He asked me if I was clean before and after the act, and texted me with the same question a few days later (after I ignored his “what’s up”). I was kind of offended that he needed that much reassuring.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Boredom, mostly. I had recently broken up with someone and then been rejected by someone else, and wasn’t looking for anything serious.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I had two drinks, and was definitively drunk during the act. He, less so.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After he left I was surprised and confused, and I actually cried a bit. I felt like I had been used somehow, not because I liked him but because I had acted “like I was supposed to” and got nothing out of it for myself, really. Looking back I think I knew from the start that the potential for disappointment would be high, but I guess I thought knowing that would be enough to protect me from it, and it wasn’t.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes. Overall I think I would have been happier if I just settled for solo movie night, which is what ended up happening anyways.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best? free drinks. Worst? Everything else.

This is actually the last hookup I’ve had as of right now. Probably not forever, because I still hold out hope that they can be fun and fulfilling, but this combined with some previous  encounters have opened my eyes to the fact that I need to set the bar higher for the guys I interact with.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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