What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? None
What’s your current relationship status? He is my “boyfriend” but i am seeing someone else
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I have been with many male partners, although kissed one girl I find it also a sexual identity, both.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Sex with the Freshman student
How long ago did this hookup happen? last week
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is tall, around 6 ft. I knew him pretty well since Sophomore year of High School so we were close but also did not have close friends in common. I did not know him very well, I met him in school and he was younger so I was showing him around the school and we met again at a high school basketball game and we kissed.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was a planned decision based off the fact that he was into the school and thought he was a good idea to meet up at a basketball game, I went with some friends so they had a lot of support to be with. I think my friends pushed me to start a relationship with him.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It ended on a bad note, we were going to smoke weed but I had nothing to smoke out of so this was a problem but the kiss turned into smooth make out. He fingered me but I did not enjoy that, it was the first time anyone had done that. I loved him at the first time we had done anything.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I do not know, he visited me in college after a few years and we did not have good sex, but i see him from now and then every few weeks. I think he is seeing another girl, and he promises he is not, I love him deeply but I do not wish to be lead on. I think he asks me to be his girlfriend every time, although we are sexually active I said yes I am your girlfriend, meaning I do not “see other guys” but I am not sure if the feeling is mutual.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device), Sterilization
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends, Everyone else was/is doing it, Peer pressure, Material rewards (gifts, money, drinks, dinner…), Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I do not think he told anyone besides his mom, He know I came to his house and no one was there for me to say hello to but I think he told her I was coming.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? The last time I saw him, he was physical, and the time before that he was controlling. I think the problem was the amount of power that he has with me, he was before a nice gentle guy but he is petty and for some reason did nothing before but is doing very material things, saying he will buy me things for me to stay with him.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing about this hookup with him before was his kindness, now i like the control, although I am not used to it. I enjoy his power over me but it is hard to control him. I like when he so gently tells me that he loves me but when he is aggressive I get confused about him.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I remember the last time he did something I think was wrong, but he made me feel good doing it and I wanted to play with him like we did when I was younger, I was fifteen. Now, I feel like he is making my life revolve solely on him.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think you can assume the hookup was a defining moment in my life, a man who controls you is not for everyone, but I can drink and have fun with him if he thinks that he is not able to be happy otherwise.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? The man I saw was secretly seeing another girl at the same time and I said nothing about it, now that he is with me he says he has no girlfriend anymore. I believe him, he blocked me off social media. I know there is nothing I can do but it makes me want to have sex with someone else. I think about him when I have sex and there is not anything I can say to him to change him.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is awesome, I think I can change my mind and maybe be his friend. He does not understand that though, we argue for hours about that and he does not understand I do not want to be his girlfriend, I would like to believe he is here for me but I do not agree with poly life style, and wanting more than one woman at a time, so life is like easier if we were to have casual sex….
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? The Casual Sex Project is amazing, you really can evaluate your relationship with a man when you secretly tell another group of people what is going on.
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