“Sorry I Left You at the Bar, I’m in a Van Now.”



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Hostess
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Some level of spiritual
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Somewhere in the 50’s
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

“Sorry I Left You at the Bar, I’m in a Van Now.”

How long ago did this hookup happen? About 2 weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this guy last summer through my best friend’s ex-boyfriend, I thought he was pretty hot (kind of reminded me of Steve/Jimmy from the show ‘Shameless’) but I was still in the tail end of a failing relationship so nothing ever came of it at the time. He’s from out of town but lives and works here in the summer, after my ex and I broke up I definitely kinda hoped I’d run into him at some point this summer.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was out at the bar dancing and having drinks with some friends when I spotted him at the bar, I hadn’t known he was back in town so I went over to say ‘hey’, we made a little small talk and went back to our respective friend groups. A little while later I was having a seat by myself and he came back over, we got to chatting and I asked him where he was staying and if he wanted to take off so we left and hailed a cab.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was staying in a hippie type van on his friend’s property (this is something I was super into), we got back and immediately started making out in the kitchen area, up on the sink and clothes start flying off. We head over to the bed and perform oral on each other and then he got out a condom. The sex was good, nothing over the top but enjoyable nonetheless. We both finished and then he grabbed a couple of beers, pulled out his laptop and put on some Netflix. We cuddled a bit (which I’m usually not into but it felt good in the moment) and then got into a round two, neither of us climaxed this time but we went for a good while and then eventually passed out. In the morning, he woke me up by fingering me and we had sex a third time, then we smoked a joint and tidied the place up.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I had parked my car at my friend’s place before the bar and needed to get back to it, he has a moped sort of bike so I hopped on and he took me to my car. After that, we met up at a local all-day breakfast joint and had some food and talked a bit then went our separate ways. I’ve talked to him a bit because I have his clothes to return to him (mine got had water spilled on them in his van) so, I’ll see him again and most likely in other situations. I don’t have any particular hopes or expectations but I definitely wouldn’t mind doing it again if the opportunity presented itself.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I texted one of my close friends in the morning who I was with at the bar apologizing for leaving her and telling her I was in a van, she thought I was kidnapped until I clarified. I told my best friend who’s ex-boyfriend introduced us, she didn’t have much of an opinion one way or another.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Probably the fact that although it was a one night stand we actually had a generally good time and were able to hold a conversation.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I don’t think anything

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not particularly, no

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’m very comfortable with casual sex. I’m not very into relationships unless I’m really into someone and I’m generally a really sexual person. I’ve had casual sex most of my life and it’s allowed me to feel liberated and in control of myself and my sexuality.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I like it a lot, I like having a platform that allows me to think more detailed about my sexual encounters.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!