The Bartender

by Cecelia Tallis

Gender: Female
Age: 31
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Oregon
Highest education received: High school diploma
Occupation: Unemployed
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? No
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Bartender

How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 days ago

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Medium height, thin fit build, a few tattoos. I am a regular at the bar where he works, so we’ve talked and innocently flirted several times over the last 3-4 months. Before we hooked up, I was very attracted to him and had a little crush on him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He gave me his phone number a week ago. I texted, and he texted back. He was very forward about wanting me and about wanting to have sex with me. He knew I was married so it was understood that it would only be for sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He fingered me, and I grabbed him down there. He went down on me for a very short time before he suddenly put his penis in me. He said how sexy I was and kissed me a lot. The fingering and oral were good, but I was disappointed at his penis size and his actual sex moves. It was jackhammer for about 30-40 seconds, then he’d stop and kiss me or kiss/suck on my breast. Then more jackhammering. Then more kissing. Then he finished off with his same jackhammer move. I never got a chance to get on top or do anything. It wasn’t all bad, and it was my first time with someone outside of my marriage so that made it more exciting and enjoyable.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did not. He did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a spermicidal condom

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Just to have fun and experience someone new

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We both had some wine.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great afterwards. I felt sexy and uninhibited. I had hoped for maybe one more hook up to come, and he hinted at that, but then when I sent him a text to set up another rendezvous, I never heard back. I still haven’t heard back.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My husband, and my two best friends. My husband knew beforehand and since we recently chose to have an open marriage, he was very supportive and very turned on by it. My friends were very surprised but supportive and wanted to hear more about it

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Consensual both ways

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, but I regret that he didn’t have the common courtesy to respond to my text for a second round with a polite “no thanks”

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was the anticipation and the excitement of being with someone new. The worst was the sometimes awkward moments during sex and his behavior the following week. It has completely made me even more aware of my sexuality and made me feel great that an attractive man wanted me, but crappy that he didn’t want a second session. It also made me realize how much I appreciate how awesome my husband is in bed.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? This hookup wasn’t everything I had hoped, but I definitely am ready and willing to give it another try with someone else.

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