What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 34
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
The Personal Trainer
How long ago did this hookup happen? About a week ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a personal trainer I met online. I have an open relationship with my husband, who is 10 years older than me, and we both have very high sex drives. He spends a lot of his time traveling for work, and when he’s away I hook up with guys that I meet online or pick up randomly at bars, parties, etc. He likes me telling him about my hookups afterward. Unless the chemistry is really good and the sex is amazing, I almost never hook up with the same guy more than once. I never take guys to the house I share with my husband. We always go to the guy’s place or a hotel.
I’ve been chatting with this guy for a few days and agree to meet him for a drink. His bio says he’s 28 so I’m a bit surprised he’s trying to hook up with a 34-year-old and not a 21-year-old. He’s not very interesting company, but he’s tall and tanned and completely ripped from the gym and I decide quickly that if he’s up for it I’m going to go home with him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Sure enough, after a couple of drinks, he asks if I want to go back to his place. He’s obviously fully expecting me to say yes and I do. It’s not far away and we jump in an Uber.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we get to his flat, he leads me straight to his bedroom. It seems to be a shared flat but there is no sign of his flatmate. We stand there kissing and he wastes no time taking off my dress. I unbutton and take off his shirt. His pecs and abs are absolutely rock hard, and it turns me on to find that he’s also covered in tattoos.
I ask him if he’d like me to suck his cock. He nods eagerly and I go down on my knees on the floor in my bra and panties and tights. I get his jeans and his boxers down. His cock isn’t huge but it’s big enough and it’s already hard. I slide my lips along the shaft and tease the tip with my tongue and then I launch into sucking it, massaging his balls at the same time. While I’m down there, I take my bra off, thinking he’ll enjoy this even more if he can look down and see my tits. I get him really worked up and then I stop and tell him to fuck me.
I lie on his bed and he joins me and pulls off my tights and panties. He grabs a condom from a box somewhere next to the bed and puts it on. He rolls me over and puts me on my hands and knees. I’m not that wet yet, so there’s a nice amount of friction when he enters me from behind. He starts off quite slow and gentle, as if he’s going to gradually build things up, but then within a couple of minutes he’s already fucking me fast and hard, holding my hips still with his muscular arms. It feels really good, but it’s obvious he’s not going to bother to make me come and so I reach back and work my clit with my fingers to make sure I get an orgasm out of it. Throughout this, he spanks me occasionally like he thinks he’s in a porn video. I actually quite like it and so I let him keep doing it.
After I climax, it’s obvious he’s getting close too. Then he says “I want to cum on your tits”. He’s definitely been watching a lot of porn. I’m happy to give him what he wants though, so I say “OK”. He pulls out and I turn around and kneel, and then he stands up on the bed and tears his condom off and his cock is right in front of my face. He yanks on it a few times and then groans as his warm cum spurts onto my chest. Just to finish things off for him, I make a show of squeezing my tits together and using my fingers to spread his cum all over them.
I leave him lying on the bed and go to the bathroom and use a towel to wipe his cum off my chest and tits. By the time I get back to his room he’s fallen asleep, so I put my clothes on and wait in his living room for an Uber to take me home. When I get there, I have a shower to get the rest of the cum off me and then go to bed.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The guy has sent me a few messages wanting to hook up again. He was hot and a fun one night stand but not interesting enough or good enough in bed for me to want to see him again, so I’ve politely declined.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my husband when he got home, which turned both of us on and we ended up having sex.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The guy was hot. Because it was definitely a meaningless one off, it was fun indulging his little porn-inspired fantasies.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Although he was a pretty good fuck, he was selfish and I would not have had an orgasm if I hadn’t fingered myself.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has played an important role in my life – when I was a student, then again after I split from a long-term monogamous relationship in my mid 20s and then throughout my marriage. I don’t think it is something that anyone should be ashamed of. It isn’t for everyone, but it is a natural and healthy part of some people’s lives.
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