The Secret Virgin

by Margaret

Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Maryland
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: Single
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Secret Virgin

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3-4 Months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? C is extremely attractive. He has a beard and is a generally hairy, tall man. He also has these blue eyes that are easy to get lost in. I had one class with him during my freshmen year of college and immediately began to lust after him. A year later during my Sophomore year after becoming Facebook friends he invited me to a party. This is where we started talking and eventually went to his apartment.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? C definitely instigated it by approaching me and asking me to dance at the party. Later after kissing for a bit, he suggested that we go back to his place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was a virgin at this time. I had had previous partners react so negatively to this that I was determined to not reveal my secret. Since I had been masturbating for as long as I could remember and had recently introduced vaginal penetration to my routine, I thought my secret would be safe. Turns out I was right. C was none the wiser after the hook-up was initiated. He performed oral sex on me before telling me that he had condoms on hand. We proceeded to have vaginal intercourse with no complications or pain on my end. It even felt pretty damn good. I didn’t orgasm and he had trouble with it as well, since we both had been drinking. I performed oral on him and that’s when he came. We both fell asleep but the next morning we had vaginal sex a second time, again with no complication. I consider him a very good lover, the best I’ve had. Also he made me coffee in the morning before I left. We didn’t see each other again. My sexual debut was a success and is a great source of pride for me, to this day he has no idea that he was my first.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I’m against using hormonal birth control at this point in my life. Though I do have a Diaphragm. However, I did not have it with me at this point in time. Therefore he used condoms. There was no discussion of STI’s or pregnancy before or afterwards.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? My reasons were of the lustful variety.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I wasn’t that drunk but he had been drinking pretty heavily.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hook-up I proudly walked back to my dorm room. Feeling for the first time, satisfied with my life. It was also Parents weekend so I relished the concerned looks that future students and their parents gave me. I feel very fondly towards this person but don’t want to pursue them romantically. I would of course be open to having sex with them again.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told all my closest pals and even my mom. They reacted positively and my friends at least seemed to also forget about my virgin status. So I didn’t even have to have that awkward conversation. I was a secret virgin ninja.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was very consensual for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not in the slightest. I feel like the sexual woman I was always meant to be.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that I didn’t have to have the stereotypical losing of the virginity. There was ZERO pain. It’s such a nerve wracking and scary thing for women and I didn’t want that for myself. And I believe it’s one of societies biggest myths. 
The worst thing was probably that he didn’t contact me again, so I got all the usual anxieties about my performance or my looks. 
This hookup has given me more confidence in my sexual ability and in my ability to pursue the kind of life I want to live.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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