The Unspoken Agreement



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Boston, MA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Unspoken Agreement

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? 22 year old who recently graduated college. 6’1″ with dirty blond hair. Rock hard muscles. Meet them two hours before hookup. Actually saw his backside across street on way to party. My friend shouted at him, “This girl thinks you’re hot.” He turned around and looked at me then turned down a street. Turned out he took a shortcut to the party because we both ended up there.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was a my friend’s friend’s party who was friends with my hook up. I asked the host if he was single and he was. Got his name and followed him into a room where he proceeded to take off his shirt to iron it. I looked him up and down. I then mocked him for ironing his shirt during a party. We left the room and all his friends were like you two should hook up. We never talked about it but it was kinda an unspoken agreement between us that something would happen. He made no move during the party other than once putting his arms around my waist. When the party winded down, I got up and said I was leaving because my friend was staying the night. I figured he wasn’t going to hook up with me because he isn’t made a move that night. He got up and said he better get home too. I went outside to call an Uber and he came up behind me and said I’ll walk you home. So I cancelled the Uber and said I lived a mile and a half away and if he really wanted to walk me home he could. He said he lived down the street and we ended up walking to his house hand in hand.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got to his house and he led me to his bedroom. While staring at me he slowly undressed himself piece by piece. When he was done, I did the same. We just stood there checking each other down. We got in his bed and had the most sensual, intense, slow sex I’ve every had. He took everything so slow and made sure I squirmed with every touch he made. His touch was like a feather. It turned into a game between us with who can touch each other and make the other one squirm more. It turned out that he was super ticklish so it was really hard for him to stop squirming when I touched him. He said it turned him on so much when I touched him because he had to concentrate so intently on me not to be tickled. When we finally had sex, it was so slow and earth shattering. Afterwards, we fell asleep in each other’s arms and cuddled the rest of the night. He woke me up during the early morning and we had sex the same way then fell back asleep. Morning came and I woke him up and we had morning sex. Every time was so intense and I’ve never experienced intense sex without it being fast paced or kinky.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After I left, I felt like I was in bliss. I wish I could have stayed but I had to go to work that morning. I wore one of his shirts home because I didn’t want to do the walk of shame in my crop top. We couldn’t find my thong so I left it there.We exchanged numbers and planned on exchanging clothing and try to see each other again. We texted for the next week and a half straight trying to figure out when we could see each other. We are both super busy with him working and going on interviews while I’m in school. I washed his shirt and ironed it and made a point in telling him it got ironed because I thought it was cute. Finally I just said, I’m coming on this day to get my underwear. He had washed it and ironed mine too. We talked and both agreed we are just too busy in life right now to try to date. We left it as when he isn’t as busy, he can text me. Ball is in his court. It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen him and I’ve had sex since but I’ve craved the type of sex I had with him since.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? It was an unspoken, mutual agreement.

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? Wasn’t discussed but was agreed without words.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Both guy and girl friends. Some said he probably was a player while others who are mutual friends said he never just sleeps with a girl he just met, so he must have felt something.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? To have experienced this type of sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Wishing I could have meet him outside a party setting and have gone out on a date with him. I still have hope.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Nope, I plan on keeping having casual sex until a relationship falls into my lap.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? BEST SEX OF MY LIFE.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it’s a great way to meet people.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great and wish I knew about it sooner.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!