Thirty-Something Virgin

by Oddnari

Gender: Cisfemale
Age: 34
Race/ethnicity: Indian
Current location: Sri Lanka
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Journalist
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Hindu
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Bi-curious
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Thirty-Something Virgin

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? First time, Fuck buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? R has very nondescript looks. His complexion was wheatish-brown, had salt and pepper hair, and stood about five feet seven. I knew him little although we had met for coffee/drinks several times before. He just didn’t open up, and I didn’t trust any of the information he gave me. He flirted a little with me, and that did give me a bit of a thrill

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had met R through the social site Orkut in Delhi, my hometown, in 2009. We met for coffee twice and then he just vanished. In 2011, I was in Mumbai, studying mass communication when he pinged me on email. I was intrigued enough to meet him for coffee, which led to more such meetings. One night we met for post-prandial drinks, and he offered me single malt whiskey at his flat. I had an inkling this would be a set up but I was okay with it. The planning, if any, was from his end. He started it off.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were sitting and drinking and conversing, when he moved closer to sit right beside me, and began stroking my back under my shirt. He went down on me and then also performed penetrative vaginal sex. I was enjoying everything he did, from the foreplay right to the part when we got to the penetration. It was very painful, as neither did he know I was a virgin, nor did I tell him, imagining that it would be okay. He was a good lover, and the sexual experience lasted quite some time… at least 30-40 minutes. We did not talk about anything. It ended when he climaxed

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? No, but my partner came

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He wore a condom. I did not discuss STIs with him

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was 31 and waiting to lose my virginity. Along comes a guy who professes an interest in relieving me of my virginity, and who was nice and sweet. Those are my reasons

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A glass of beer, and a glass of Laphroaig

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Afterwards, he freaked out because his condom was covered with my blood. He was quite alarmed and shocked. I told him I was a virgin, but was highly put off when he told me that I could not stay in his room and had to leave.
Expectations-wise, at the time, I hoped we would be in some kind of relationship (which would involve lots of sex) but did not share the sentiment with him.
I couldn’t care less about him now as I am married to a person I cherish and one who loves and cares for me greatly

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I mentioned it to a few friends but firstly to my classmate in college. She was several years my junior and was very excited and thrilled for me

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual and wanted for both me and R

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Regret no, but the whole hurry-up-and-leave left a bad feeling

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I wish I could shake my 31-year-old self and tell her to speak her mind and be unafraid of the consequences, to consciously get out of her shell and be expressive.

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