Transitioning to Hookup Culture



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New York
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Filmmaker
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Transitioning to Hookup Culture

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met her on Tinder. She seemed like we had a solid amount in common and she had a pretty face.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At her apartment. She invited me over and I think we both sorta instigated.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There was some manual stimulation done to her, while oral was done on me. We had vaginal sex. I was not into it at all. She was definitely heavier then her pics…but more about the idea of just going out of your way to fuck someone you don’t know at all. The sex sucked. She was very rough and even when I instructed her to be softer she just didn’t get it. We talked about various stuff including our recent splits from our partners. Ended with a peck goodnight and a bye. I will very likely never see her again.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt gross. I was raised in a very religious home. While I don’t practice and largely live well outside the norms, I think I’ve internalized the belief that the act of intercourse is something to be done only with someone you’re connected to–hence the limited partners. Being recently divorced though, I figured I’d give it a shot.

But it was really rough. Could never get into it. Despite drinking, it just didn’t feel right. I had lots of trouble keeping it up. She wasn’t good with my body and I doubt I was all that good with her. No chemistry. I got her off but felt gross doing it. I couldn’t fuck her till I smoked a joint. Otherwise would have gone home without getting off. Felt gross after. Got there 9ish…left around 12:30. Frankly hooking up by swiping and showing up at someone’s apt is not my thing at all. No judgement towards others, but tried it once and just not my thing.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I guess regret is the wrong word. Any experience you learn from is a positive one. However, I’d never do this again. Really feel like I denigrated myself by purposely seeking this out.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I was pretty sure the tinder game wasn’t for me. It’s one thing to go to a bar and get trashed and hookup, it’s another to come to some’s home you don’t know for the express purpose of fucking. Nothing wrong with it but it is just not for me.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!