Trying Out a Flirt

by Mara

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Lawyer
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Still trying out things
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3

Trying Out a Flirt

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is a very good looking policeman of 24 years, thus a good deal younger than me. He is a bit stocky because he is so muscular, ha broad shoulders, dark short hair, soulful brown eyes, a very sweet smile. I met him at a club while celebrating carnival. I was dresses as Little Red Riding hood with a geneours cleavage. I was with a group of friends; my long term boyfriend was away for work and not celebrating with us. We were all very drunk. He startet talking to me and I was flattered seeing that he was the most desirable man in the club. Talking quickly led to dancing and that quickly led to a kiss. After the kiss, I broke away and told him that I could not do that as I had a boyfriend and my friends were watching (they were somewhere in the club). I was hot for him but did not want to be unfaithful in front of my friends. So he took my hand and dragged my outside, around a corner, where he pressed me against a wall and said that now, we coul do whatever we wanted without being seen. I really liked this dominant behaviour. We kissed for a few minutes and it was heaven. He was a very good kisser. He put a hand around my neck like he was going to choke me, but simply let his thumb wander lightly down into my cleavage. I shuddered with lust. I also loved that he was respectful – he did not grope my ass or tits, just kisses on the mouth. He sucked on my lower lip, I liked that, too. After a while I wanted to go back inside, so my friends would not get suspicious. We exchenaged numbers before. I said goodbye and went back inside and did not see him again that night.
He texted me the next day and we stablished a little flirtatious texting: I told him all about my problems with my boyfriend, what with him not wanting sex more than every couple of weks and me wanting it like every other day and the tensions and disappointments resulting from this situation. Plus I have been with my boyfriend for over 9 years; there is not the same sparkle there as it is in flirting with some hot guy at the club.
After a few weeks, it turned out that I had a conference in the city where he lives so I asked if we could meet – stipulating that nothing should happen, just getting to know each other for friendly purposes. He said yes. I managed to “steal” some time that day by telling my boyfriend the conference ended later than it did, thus being able to take a train to this guys apartment. It was very weird seeing him in his apartment in full daylight, sober. We sat and talked about our jobs and his past relationship (he broke it off when his ex startet hitting him and was not over it yet). We had some wine. I was really nervous. I could not believe I was doing this, so deliberately. It was like watching someone else do it.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After a while I felt safe with him. After all, this was risky bevaviour, going to some unkown many house. But he was so respectful and did not even flirt with me. So I turned the talk to sexual things, explaining how I had very little experience as I had only ever been with my boyfriend. I then asked if I could enhance my experiences with him and he said, Gladly, and that he had not acted in this way because he did not want to put me under pressure. Then we kissed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We sat on his couch and kissed heavily.I felt his body under his shirt. After a while, he made me straddle his lap, and he pushed up my pencil skirt. I opened my blouse so he could kiss my breasts. I enjoyed it. He soon picked me up and carried me to his bed. I love being picked up, this whole strong-man-thing gets me going. I am quite cliché that way.
I took off my clothes and laid next to him in my underwear. He took that off soon, too. I undid his belt. We kissed and touched and stroked and I took his dick into my mouth. This was uncomfortable: He has a not too long but VERY broad dick at he base and it almost did not fit into my mouth – or at least not in a way that I could still move my tongue or do anything to blow him. This was unexpected. My experiences are limited to my boyfriend, so for me it was new that dicks could be differently shaped…
I went to the bathroom to take out my nuvaring. I was quite wet. He put on a condom and knelt on the bed. I turned around in front of him and he entered me from behind. I like this position very much, but he went a little crazy with it. He hammered me so hard that it actually hurt and I was completely paralyzed and struggling to take it. He grabbed my hips, fucking me harder, and pushed my head down. After a while, because of the thickness of his dick chafing started and I wished he would come, but he had a good stamina… After what seemd like a long time, he turned me around and fucked me missionary, with my legs up behind my head. Nice feeling. He sweated a lot, and his face had the funniest expressions for being turned on. He said how hot it was for him being inside me. I started bleeding, it happens, no big deal (I don’t feel it, it is just because the dick hits the cervix), but this spooked him a bit and he suggested a break. I accepted thankfully. He went to the bathroom to wash off a bit. I laid in bed until he brought me some water and snuggled next to me, He looked very happy. It was so weird being intimate and feeling naked skin after sex with someone not being my boyfriend… We talked a bit, me marveling at his possibility to just go out every night and take someone home to fuck. I do wish I could do that while still being in a relationship.
I was running very late at that time and felt like I could not take his dick inside me again so I told him that I had had enough and if he would be very mad if I just took a quick shower and left. He was totally okay with it, demonstrating once again his respectfulness and consideration. I did feel a bit bad because I had just used him to have a new experience and he had not even come yet, but I was out of there in three minutes. I left with a taxi and texted him sorry for rushing out like that. I had actually not planned for sex in my scheduling…

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I went to a male friend of mine for the night; the conference went on the next day. I talked to my boyfriend on the phone later that evening. I felt fine. However the next day I could hardly sit down becaus emy pussy was raw; he had fucked me so hard that it took a few days to feel normal again. I complained jokingly and he apologized a few times sincerely. He said that seing my ass in front of him, being able to fuck me from behind after all our flirting and teasing was extremely hot and he just went a bit overboard…
We kept on texting, eventually turning to flat out sexting and met again. Thats for the next sory to be submitted..

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I did not talk to anyone. I had told my best freind about a one night stand with someone else the year before. But this time, I just wanted it for myself, without having to rationalize it or defend myself. It was just for me and myself!

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Because I was cheating on my boyfriend.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The new experience.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The chafing. And the cheating.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex should be more accepted. Sex is an expression of a bodily need, like hunger and thirst. We should be able to satisfy it, not bound by rules of relationships.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great! It helps so much to see how many peaople have similar experiences!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!