What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 60
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Executive
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Traveling on business, I had a craving for Middle Eastern food and drove my rental car about 40 minutes to a restaurant I found on the internet. I thoroughly enjoyed my dinner, and as I was ready to leave the waiter asked if I would order dessert and stay for entertainment (a belly dancer). I agreed. I was moved from a quiet table to a table closer to the stage with some other customers. Few minutes later a medium-tall blonde young woman did a more theatrical rather than authentic belly dance. I was not impressed with the dance, though a bit allured by the dancer’s seductive movements. After she finished her performance, the woman surprisingly sat at my table with an older couple. I learned that the older couple were her parents and that she was a medical graduate student using belly dancing both as art and exercise.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I spoke to the woman (whose name I will not mention), and we started to hit it off. I looked at my watch it was close to 11 pm. She noticed that I may be getting ready to leave, and ask me to stay and watch her next show. I reluctantly stayed. I could not keep my mind from wondering as I watched her seductive movements. After she finished, she sat down next to me and asked me if I wanted to hook up with her. My mouth went dry. I had never done anyhting outside of my marriage. I was scared and nervous, but I mumbled OK. Since I didn’t know my way around, she asked me to follow her in my car to her place. Once I confirmed that it was not shared with her parents, I agreed. My heart was beating a million beats a minute. I couldn’t think but followed her.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Her place was quite close to the restaurant. We arrived at her place a little after midnight. Once inside her house, the pounding of my heart gave me the worst migraine headache imaginable. We started kissing and partially undressing on her bed, but I finally broke down to ask if she had something I could take for my headache. She gave me a pain relief medicine. Until the pain subsided I went down on her and ate her pussy, bringing her to three orgasms. As my headache eased, I was fully turned on and wanted to fuck her. I entered her in a missionary position, and though she was taller than I was with longer legs, there was excitement and passion in our sexual activity. I was so turned on the only thing I did not want to do was to come too soon. I started counting up to 100, and think about anything to get my mind off of coming. After about 5 minutes, I was ready to explode and told her so. She asked me to come on her belly instead, and I exploded. After cleaning ourselves, we started kissing, and she kissed my neck and chest and nibbled on my ear, getting me hard again. Once I was ready and hard we went at it one more time. The second time I couldn’t even manage to get to 100. I told her I was ready to come again. She told me to come in her. I had the biggest explosion and she felt the full powerful ejaculation. After cleaning ourselves, we drifted off to sleep. I woke up around 6 am, and let her know that I business to attend, and we exchanged phone numbers. I used my GPS to find my way to the hotel where I showered got dressed and went about my business.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I became remorseful. I thought of my mariage, my children, and my job security. I immediately destroyed her phone number and hoped that she would never call me. I never heard from her.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. I was terrified if it ever became known.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I do not want to lie to my wife, but realized that I now had a secret to protect for the rest of my life. It was nothing that I sought, and nothing that I ever repeated again in my life.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That someone sought me for sex.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fear. The fear that one day this woman would find me and sue me for getting her pregnant. The fear that my wife would leave me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? If I ever to have casual sex, it better be guilt-free. I can’t stand the guilt.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I now eat at hotel restaurants.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I enjoy sex. However, after three children and more decades marriage, sex becomes routine. I enjoyed the thrill of having sex with someone other than my wife. If not for the guilt, I probably would do it again. The guilt guaranteed that I would never do it again.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Keep my name out of it.
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