Unintentional Statutory Rape

by Nick Adams

Gender: Male
Age: 46
Race/ethnicity: White / American
Current location: Florida
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Legal field
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Unintentional Statutory Rape

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1990

How would you best classify this hookup? One night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was working as a hotel bartender and she – I’ll call her Marion – was staying in the hotel with her mother, stepfather and a friend of hers. The mother (or stepfather, I forget which) was in town on business and Marion and her friend had sort of just come along for the ride. She was very pretty, auburn or reddish-brown medium-length hair, tall, about 5’9″, and slender but curvy. She looked like she could be a model.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Marion and her friend came to my bar near the hotel lobby and started chatting. Marion ordered a drink – I forget what, but an alcoholic drink – then promptly excused herself to go to the bathroom. Her friend ordered a drink also. The hotel was a big-name chain and very corporate, so management’s eyes were everywhere. Therefore I dutifully checked the friend’s ID, and she was 21. I made the drinks but when Marion came back I did not check her ID, assuming she was at least as old as the friend since she (Marion) actually looked like the older of the two. Later she told me she was 19, which I did not doubt for a second but did not check her ID. 

The bar was not busy and we ended up spending a looooonng time talking. Marion in particular was being very flirty toward me. Eventually they gave me their room number and invited me to bring a male friend and come hang out with them later, when my shift ended. (They had their own room, the parents were in the room next door.) On short notice I could not find a wing man but did not let that stop me. I went home after my shift, showered, then went back and snuck into the hotel, despite it being strictly against the rules for employees to fraternize with guests. 

I went to the room and before long found myself making out with Marion in the one bed while her friend watched TV in the other. After awhile the friend feigned falling asleep, but I think she was watching us.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Heavy petting on the bed led to us getting completely under the covers (remember, her friend was in the room) and getting naked. We took turns giving each other oral and then had unprotected vaginal sex in multiple positions. She did not seem overly experienced but was definitely not a virgin. She did not make me wear a condom but was adamant that I not come inside her, so I pulled out. 

We then went in the shower and had sex in there again, standing up with me behind her. Being tall she was just the right height for it. After the shower we went back to the bed and had sex at least one more time, if not two. I stayed for most of the night and left at around 4 a.m. or so, with a very big smile on my face.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I had several orgasms but she only had one, when I went down on her. She said she did not come from regular sex. Later I found out it was because she simply hadn’t learned how yet. If I had known that at the time I would have made more of an effort in that department.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No precautions and didn’t discuss it.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? She was very attractive and very willing, and I was a horny 22 year old so……

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? She’d had a few drinks at my bar, but I hadn’t had anything. No drugs.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I had the day off, but I went to the hotel and picked the girls up, and took them out to eat. They seemed to be on their own, in terms of not being accountable to the mom and step dad at all. After dinner we went back to the hotel and I had sex with Marion one more time, but for some reason I don’t recall, could not stay long that night. 

The day after that I worked again and they came by the bar to say goodbye before leaving. I got Marion’s phone number and promised to keep in touch. I really did like her!

So I did keep in touch with her by phone, as promised. We had a lot of great conversations about all kinds of topics, and also some phone sex. I really wanted her to come see me and invited her many times to come for a visit, but she always had an excuse. At some point I offered to pay for her plane ticket and all other expenses, but she still wouldn’t do it. Naturally I suspected she had a boyfriend or something. When I kept pushing the issue, she eventually confessed why she could not come…

BECAUSE SHE WAS ONLY 16 YEARS OLD! And mind you, this was after we had been talking on the phone for two years after the hookup, so at that time she had been only 14!  

At first I did not believe her and was mad that she was going to such lengths to conceal the truth, which I was convinced was that she had a boyfriend, if not a husband. But she gave me some information through which I was able to make some phone calls and confirm her age. She really was 16, meaning she really was 14 when I slept with her at the age of 22!

Naturally I was shocked by this. Turns out that she was the youngest of four sisters, and her “friend” was actually the best friend of one of her older sisters. Physically she had developed early, and by emulating her older sisters and their friends, she had the persona and fashion sense of a young adult. I would never would have guessed she was that young, but once she told me and I thought about it in retrospect, she had seemed immature in some ways. 

After that we still talked a few more times on the phone, but I could not take her seriously anymore and the call frequency soon dwindled to zero.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have told the story a few times, but only to people who know me well enough to believe that I would never have knowingly had sex with a 14 year old girl, regardless of how mature she looked and acted. People generally react with good humor but the story typically ends on a more serious note when I talk about how I could have gone to jail over this. 

If the mother or stepfather – or for that matter hotel staff – had caught me fooling around with Marion in the hotel, I could have gone to state prison for statutory rape. For those who may not know, “statutory rape” is having sex with an underage person and is considered rape regardless of whether the sex is consensual or not. Also, it is called a “strict liability offense,” meaning that ignorance of the underage person’s true age is no excuse. 

And if I had flown her down to see me even two years later, when she was STILL a minor, I could have gone to federal prison for violation of the Mann Act, which is when you bring an underage person across state lines for “immoral purposes.” Even thinking about it now, all I can say is wow. Just…wow. I dodged a bullet on that one.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Absolutely fully consensual and wanted, for both.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? On the one hand I regret it just because I sort of feel like an idiot when I think about it. And as I mentioned before, I could have gone to prison over it! So if I had it to do over, I would not press my luck by doing it a second time. 

But with that said…..I really did enjoy it at the time. It sucks that the memory of a great hookup is spoiled by the guilt of doing something so highly illegal. All I can say in my own defense is that I truly had no idea I was doing anything wrong at the time. And, in spite of her young age I was NOT her first sexual partner. That would have made me feel really guilty also.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think I covered that in the previous answer. She was very attractive with a great sense of humor, and the sex was exciting. I was (and am) an attractive guy but have never had very good “game” for making casual hookups happen too often. So it was an ego booster at the time. But then of course the worst part is finding out later that she was underage, which in addition to the guilt factor, led me to believe that she was probably excited about the general idea of being with an older guy more so than about me in particular, as an individual person.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I appreciate the opportunity to sort of get this story off my chest, and will be interested to read any replies.

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