Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Software engineer
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Would be polyamorist
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Weird Metro Girl
How long ago did this hookup happen? About six months
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night-stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a blue-eyed blond girl with casual clothes. I met her on the metro home. Never seen her before.
[A little aside: One of the reasons I decided to post here was reading about the 42-year old man who feels regret for never having had any hook-ups in his life. When what I am about to describe happened, I was about 6 months separated from my wife, with whom I had been together since I was 24. My later-wife was my first girlfriend and my first sexual relationship – except for that one girl that once let me lick her boobs and stroked me through my jeans and well I her through hers, which for some reason I don’t think counts. I felt very similarly to the aforementioned man, insofar as I felt strangled by the harmony of the relationship, felt like I was missing out, felt like our sex-life had grown stale and unexciting. Felt my beliefs about relationships and monogamy were something imposed upon me through long years of Catholic moral education. After we separated I very quickly stumbled into a very weird three-month whatever-that-was with a much younger girl (19) who, sexually, was everything my wife had not been. I enjoyed the sex very much, but the whole thing did not last long, as she was a very difficult person in all other regards. But my hunger for more casual sex had been awoken (big time). I did not expect my first ever hook-up to also be this weird, though.]
When I was on the metro home, I had actually just finished a very emotional phone call with my wife, who had told me some upsetting things, so I sat there across from this girl, crying. I noticed her and thought she looked quite attractive, but also slightly weird (something about her funny looking casual trousers and the look on her face).
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She followed me out of the metro (she actually rode past her stop to follow me) and asked me if I was OK. I was quite surprised and she seemed nice, so I started a conversation with her. The way she giggled and some things she said still gave me the lingering feeling that there was something a bit off with her, that there was something weird, but I did not mind, as I was enjoying the conversation with a girl who seemed to be interested in me. I got a beer in a nearby shop, she did not want any, and we just walked around for a bit.
She told me she had a boyfriend who did not totally satisfy her (she did not mention in what way though), and pretty quickly it was clear that she was somehow attracted to me. The conversation was still a bit weird, but at that point I thought “what the hell” and asked her if she liked kissing. She said she did, leaned quite close, and I kissed her. We kissed for a bit, walked around, kissed, and exchanged Facebook contact information. Later that night she wrote me that she was really into me and that she’d like to sleep with me. I asked if we could meet at my metro stop the next day.
When we did, we walked around a bit more and decided that we could watch a movie together. I was a bit worried because at that time I did not really have much furniture in the living room, so when we got there I made for the bedroom to get a mattress to use as a couch. When she saw me doing this, she said “what are you doing” and went straight for my bedroom.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I quickly returned to the bedroom with the mattress (of two total in a double bed), got my laptop for some music, and we lay down. There was some heavy kissing and caressing, she straddled me while we kissed and I sensed her hips moving against mine. OK, I thought, this is going to be sex then. She was playful throughout the undressing process, from time to time saying some weird things that I did not get, but generally enthusiastic. It took a while until we were fully naked, what with the playfulness and pretend shyness and weird dialogue (seriously, there was something decidedly weird about it).
I was quite excited by the time I put the condom on, and I wanted to lick her pussy, but she quickly made signals that she does not like that kind of sex (sadly), she did not like touching of her clit either (so when I massaged her pussy later I made sure not to touch it, as she was obviously sensitive in that area).
I did not last long until my first orgasm (which usually is not a problem of mine, but I was really excited about my first hook-up), which came in missionary.
I quickly went to the bathroom, cleaned up, and put on another condom. Fortunately I was still hard enough to just continue (frankly, I think she thought I just went for a pee 🙂 ), so we did a bit more missionary, doggy, and then I asked her if she would like to ride me. She was a bit reluctant at first but then did it anyway, which I thought was the best position with her, because in the others she was very passive, which I don’t like. (That was the biggest sexual letdown in the encounter, her passiveness and seeming indifference to what I was doing with her. I really had a hard time figuring out what she enjoys and what she doesn’t, since she made few signals whatsoever).
After a while we took a little break (all sweaty) in which we talked. I played with her boobs for a while and she stroked my dick. Then she decided, after a while, that she “wants to fuck” again (I love it when girls say “fuck me” btw) so I put on another condom, and we did sideways for about twenty minutes (here the biggest problem was that she kept falling into the crevice between the two mattresses all the time, thereby sliding off my dick, which was awkward after a while 😉 ). I came again and we cuddled for a bit. Since she never made any signals I am not sure she ever came, but she seemed satisfied with everything nonetheless. I still found her indifference slightly off-putting, throughout.
Afterwards I walked her to the metro, so we parted ways the way we met.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We did not discuss it. We used condoms.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? After my three-month sex-filled affair/whatever-it-was with the 19-year old, I really would like to experience casual sex more. Ever since this time with the metro girl I only had one other hook-up (which I will probably post at a later time), and I still feel a bit left out of a big and fun game. My problem, probably, is a severe lack of self-confidence and too much approach-anxiety. I would really love to find a way to be more confident. I felt quite flattered by the attention of metro-girl, although I still think she was a bit weird (which sadly in my mind dampens the positive effect of the hook-up).
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? On the day of the hook-up we were both sober. I had had two or three beers prior to our first conversation/kisses.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We still occasionally chat on Facebook. Haven’t met her in person ever since. Still think she’s a bit weird 😉
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple of friends. Reactions were quite positive. Couple of people pointed out it should boost my ego, but sadly it didn’t, really.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Was consensual for both of us. If anything, I was quite surprised by how quickly it ended up in my bedroom in a no-clothes-situation involving genitalia.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? A little, based purely on her indifferent behaviour during large portions of the hook-up. But mostly I don’t really regret having done it, no.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was the unexpected nature of it all, me having sex with a nearly complete stranger, which I found very exciting.
The worst was the weirdness of the situation (also her slightly weird behaviour and her indifference, see above).
I have a very positive opinion of casual sex, in fact I wish I was more self-confident and had more of it. Ever since my split from my wife I have enjoyed my quite open sexuality, and I really want to live it out.
I really moved past my Catholic upbringing and want to enjoy my sexuality freely. Surprisingly difficult to do for me, though 🙁
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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