Which Girl?



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sweden
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Lawyer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Around 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Which Girl?

How long ago did this hookup happen? Roughly 2 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a tiny Asian girl. Long black hair, brown eyes, barely reached up to my chest. I was hanging out at an overpriced bar I didn’t particularly like as a favor to my friend who had gotten some kind of job there as a promoter or something and needed to draw a crowd to make a good impression. After the better part of the night had passed and I was starting to feel really miserable, I decided to get blackout drunk and just not give a damn. So I was standing in the bar with a beer in each hand (I still don’t know why the bartender didn’t cut me off at that point, but I guess I did know someone who worked there) when she walks up and starts talking.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Me being a pleasant drunk, I chat away with her for a while as I’m drinking. It isn’t until she starts calling me “big boy” I realize this girl is hitting on me. She’s way too pretty for me (I think, at least) and women never are the ones to initiate, so it probably took longer than it should have. The alcohol didn’t exactly help. She kept asking about my height, said she’d noticed how big my feet were, and was about as subtle as a sledgehammer.

As if this wasn’t unusual enough, she was also there with a friend and there was some confusion on my part as to which one was actually hitting on me. See, they would both try to move up close, touch me, wanting to take selfies with me, talking about when they last had sex and how desperately they needed it, that sort of stuff. For someone who is pretty goddamn bad at reading signals when sober, it was impossible for me to tell what was going on. In hindsight, I suspect it was some sort of weird game for them. Anyway, we decide I’m going home with them to the apartment they share. On the bus ride over there, I’m still not sure which of these girls I’m actually sleeping with.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? To be honest, I don’t quite remember the specific details. What I do remember is that I finally realize the Asian girl is the one I’m going to sleep with before we actually reach the apartment. We start making out vigorously while the friend encourages us and keeps pushing me to go further and be more aggressive. I don’t remember if they ever explicitly said they were in a relationship of some kind, but I do remember finding it odd they only had one bed, which was offered to us to have sex in.

Drunk as I was, I had managed to figure out that her obsession with our relative sizes and her insistence on referring to herself as a tiny girl and the like meant she wanted to feel like I was really taking her. Normally, I’m quite shy and self-conscious, but I was drunk as hell and all the teasing and egging on had done its job. I pinned her down and fucked her. I told her she was my little slut. I dug my fingers so hard into her body I’d be surprised if she didn’t bruise afterwards. I’m not quite sure who initiated it, but at some point the friend started watching us too. She never joined in, or touched herself, or even indicated she received any sort of sexual pleasure from all this. She just watched as I fucked her tiny friend and told her she was a nasty slut who enjoyed getting fucked in front of her room mate. I even came on her face, which was a first for me.

It ended on a rather flaccid note, as I insisted on sleeping on their couch so the girls could have the bed to themselves. Even my uncharacteristic little alpha male fuck session couldn’t quite get rid of the polite young man I’d been raised to be. At some point during the night, the Asian girl came out and gave me a blowjob, but it was far softer than the previous sex had been.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt kind of shitty, to be honest. This girl was barely 18, still in high school, and while I was also young, I was still seven years older at the time. So my neuroses kicked in. I’d somehow taken advantage. It didn’t help that she gave me her number and asked if I had any plans for the summer. I quickly decided that this had no future and wormed my way out of making any sort of commitment.

In hindsight, I probably could’ve handled it better, but my opinion is still that there was no future there. After speaking with her while sober, I realized we had very little in common and that she had so much yet to experience.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends and I discussed it. Reactions varied from the typical “bro” high fives, fist bumps and the like, and questions as to why I bailed so quickly and didn’t call her again. I was also heavily questioned, as I’d apparently texted a friend during the bus ride to the girls’ apartment about how I thought I was going to have a threesome.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I don’t necessarily think I regret the hookup itself, as much as how I handled the aftermath. Like I said, I’m normally quite shy and reserved. This was new ground for me, I felt a little bit bad, and I tried to get away as quickly as I could.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The feeling of having a pretty girl just come up and hit on me. I’ve always considered myself rather average looking and plain, so it was a real confidence booster.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The feeling that I had somehow exploited this young girl who didn’t know any better.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A bit, I guess. I’m more confident these days and I’m not as reserved when it comes to sex. I realized that while I’m still by no means an alpha male, I do have a dominant streak in bed.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has a time and place. If both parties are aware of what it is and are fine with it being sex and nothing more, it can have a therapeutic effect. It helps me feel attractive and strong. As for society, I feel like it’s relatively accepting, though I am a young man and therefore don’t really have much stigma attached to casual flings.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s an interesting project. I’m by no means going to pretend I know how or why you’re gathering these stories other than the vaguest idea, but if nothing else it’s fun to compare your stories to those of others.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!