What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Miami
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
While My Fiancé Was Away
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s 47, tall, with black hair, brown eyes, dark skin, a fit body, and he is married. I met him through my BFF Katie (not real name). He travels to the area once a month for business and stays extra days to golf or deep sea fish with friends.
I’m 21, 34D, strawberry blonde, glasses, nerdy, and not an outgoing person. I’m generally shy and well grounded. I have a fiancé. We’ve been together for a long time and he’s the first person I had sex with. We don’t have sex often but when we do, it’s quick and vanilla.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Recently, my boyfriend gave me a ring but no date with it. He left on a mission trip and will be gone for two months. I was hanging out with my BFF and I told her I’d like to enjoy my ‘alone time’. She got excited for me and recommended a guy she met on Tinder that she had hooked up with a few times. He was coming to town soon and already made plans with her, but she knew he’d be cool hooking-up with me instead. She showed me his profile and told me he was a sexy gentleman, well endowed, and amazing in bed. I was a little nervous. but mostly excited because this guy was HOT! She messaged to see if he’d be interested in hooking up with me instead. She sent him a few photos and a new selfie of us kissing. LOL. He replied that he was interested so she told him how to contact me on an account I created.
For the next few days, we chatted like friends. I enjoyed chatting with him more than my fiancé. The day before he arrived, he told me when to meet him at his hotel. As a cover, I told my parents I was spending the night with Katie. I was raised in a super conservative/religious home and my fiancé is very religious, so all of my clothes are loose fitting and boring. Katie and I are the same size but I’m a 34D versus her being a 34B. She let me borrow a tight-fitting, above the knee navy dress and some heels. She’s cool and helped me pack a large purse with make-up, condoms, lube, a change of panties, casual shorts, a t-shirt, flip-flops, and a bikini for the hot tub. The extra clothes were to wear just in case I decided to spend the night. I had no intention of spending the night, but she thinks of everything.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I met him in the lobby and he was very attractive. He held my hand as we went to his room. Once inside, we kissed and removed our clothes. His penis was huge! My fiancé doesn’t like oral, but I wanted to suck this guy. I got on my knees and gave him oral. He wanted to rub his penis between my tits, so I held them while he slid up and down between them. I was aroused and ready for sex. He had condoms and put one on. I got on the bed and he started out on top. He felt good entering me! He was much bigger than my fiancé and I was getting wet as he began to have sex with me. His pace picked up and after a few minutes I had my first orgasm and he finished too.
While in the bathroom freshening up, he invited me to have dinner with him. I agreed. We both got dressed. He put on a suit & tie and looked sexy! We held hands and went to the hotel restaurant. He was a gentleman and pulled out my chair as I sat. My fiancé would never attempt that move. He ordered a bottle of expensive wine and an appetizer. We looked in each other’s eyes while talking. I wasn’t nervous anymore and I felt like I was on a date with Mr. Perfect and didn’t want it to end. He’s married with two daughters that have just started college. I told him I’m a business major and he gave me good advice with classes and how to prepare myself for the workforce. We had common interests too. When the check arrived, he offered to pay for my meal. I offered but he insisted. I had lost track of the time and we had been talking for over 2 hours. He asked me to spend the night, and I agreed.
We went back to his room and had sex all night. We started out with him on top, then me on top, & later, doggy. I had countless orgasms. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He planned to be in town all week and would be leaving on Sunday. He invited me to dinner each night. I had plans during the days, but I agreed to meet him for dinner each evening. We met for dinner, had sex, and I went home afterward for the next few days. Thursday evening, we did anal for the first time.
Friday night was going to be our last hook-up because he had golf plans with his friends on Saturday. While we were at dinner, he held my hand, looked at me in the eye and asked if I would like to spend Saturday with him. He wanted to take a boat tour then visit some museums. If I agreed, he’d cancel his tee time for tomorrow right then. I didn’t want him to miss golfing with his friends, but I was very flattered he wanted to spend the day with me doing things I’ve always wanted to do with my fiancé who always had excuses. I agreed. He texted his friends, we finished dinner, and once we got to his room, I jumped him and had the best passionate sexual experience! I’ve never felt emotions like that before.
I met him the next morning. We held hands and kissed while on the boat ride and visiting places. He surprised me with a lunch date at an expensive restaurant that requires reservations. He asked me to spend the night and leave with him when he checked out the next day. I couldn’t turn down that offer. We had passionate sex all night. The next morning, we kissed like we’d never see each other again but we both agreed we’d hook-up next month.
I hated the moment he left. I didn’t feel this sad and depressed when my fiancé left.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My BFF: She helped arrange it.
She was happy that I had a great time with him. She’s cool and didn’t get upset when I told her I planned to hook-up with him next month. I don’t want her upset with me because she’s my BFF. She suggested I hook-up with him first and she would be my ‘backup’ if I’m busy when he comes to town. LOL
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Of course, the sex was great!
Having passionate & emotional sex. I’ve never experienced that before and it was wonderful. I loved how we were able to explore and enjoy each other as our bodies were connected. It’s a great feeling when two people can connect and keep each other on the edge of an orgasm but stay in the moment for a long time.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The emotions I felt when he left.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? My fiancé insists on a monogamous relationship but we don’t have sex often. I think as long as people are discrete, they should explore having sex with other people. I wish my fiancé was open to having casual sex with other people. I’d be willing to have an open relationship with him but I know he’d call me a slut and break-up with me.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My first experience with casual sex was last year. Katie and I took a ski trip and I ended up having sex with an older guy she hooked-up with the day before. I was nervous at first because I wasn’t experienced but he was great, we had fun and I had multiple orgasms. It also made me more curious about having casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? My BFF insisted I post my story. I’m glad I did.
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