Why Don’t You Come Sit Over Here?

by Ramon Vazquez

Gender: Male
Age: 24

Location: London
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Humanities Student
Religious affiliation: Baptised RC.
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Why Don’t You Come Sit Over Here?

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 Months Ago

How would you best classify this hookup? One-Night Stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? So this lady was a friend of my friend’s girlfriend. We met on my friend’s birthday. There was meant to be a big gathering in a pub but it wound up only being 4 of us, with a fifth to come later, due to the majesty of planned engineering works. She was slim, auburn hair with died tips, and a considerable bust. I was taken by her quite quickly but spent most the evening unsure if she had a boyfriend or not (ultimately she didn’t).

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The “party” ended up back at my friend’s and continued in full swing, i.e. gin everywhere. Once everyone had left or retired to bed, the two of us took up residence on separate futons. We kept talking and talking. Then came the playful teasing. Then I managed to coax her to sit on my futon with some feigned deafness and some nonsense that it was too awkward to angle my head to talk to her. Then in that way that these things tend to happen the kiss just naturally occurred.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed for quite some time. Then I dropped the hand under her top and went to unhook the bra. Lo and behold I had moderate difficulty which added to my general awkwardness (she had to do the last step). I caressed and kissed her breasts and gently massaged them. I then proceeded to slip my hand under her tights, into her underwear and between her legs. At this point she stopped me. She turned and said, “I don’t want to have sex with you tonight, sorry”. I simply said, “Ok.”

What she said next unnerved me (which I’ll explain below). She expressed with surprise, “Really? Normally guys are pushier. You’re such a gentleman.” I checked to see if she was okay with me continuing to rub her and she said yes, as I continued she moaned and shuddered before slipping her hand into my boxers and taking my lad in her hand. After some stroking I asked if she’d go down on me which she happily said yes to. A sensuous, passionate blowjob followed and when I told her I was about to come she pushed me back down and sucked me till I came in her mouth. It was one of the finest blowjobs I’ve ever received. Afterwards we had a couple of cigarettes on the balcony before falling asleep.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I liked the cut of this girl’s jib from when I first met her. It had been a while since I’d had any intimacy and I was feeling up for some fun.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Lots of alcohol. It was a bit insane how much we all put away.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was pretty happy with the hookup, still am if I’m perfectly honest. I was a bit annoyed that my allergic reaction to a fabric softener I had been using caused me to scratch myself in the middle of the night resulting on blood on the pillow when I woke up which I think put her off me in the morning. I asked her out on a date afterwards. She was definitely caught off guard. It was a very good, very fun date. But it ended with the line “I’m not looking for a relationship” from her. We texted a few times afterwards but it ultimately ended with no communication back a week later. Haven’t bothered to broach it with my mate’s girlfriend. Not pushed anymore.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To a couple of people. One was super happy given my usual experiences with women and hoped it would come to something. One was a bit judgy it had happened so fast (which I found hypocritical as I’ve listened to her casual sex debriefs). One friend was supportive then criticized me for calling it sex when it was in fact “just a blowie”.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual and I checked at every step of the way.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. It was fun.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I suppose the best thing is a top up between A) Actually getting to know her somewhat first, B) it being the end of the dry run and C) it being really good.

The negative side relates to what she said regarding no sex. I am fine with no sex. It was what she said after I said OK. The idea that she has said something similar to men and they’ve proceeded to pressure her is just not right. Worse still it must have happened more than once (with different individuals) for her to express surprise that someone would not pressure for sex.

I’m no angel. There was a time when I was younger and would beg for a kiss. I realized I was wrong, I grew up, and now I am not that person. But the idea that someone won’t take no to sex as a valid and final answer is just very unnerving. It’s made me resolute that I will always try to ensure that consent is clear and to be respectful in the face of someone saying no.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? It brought home to me that the issue of consent and of pressuring people for sex can be so prevalent as to make that the only view someone has.

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