You Should Have Casual Sex Before Getting into a Relationship

by Colin

Age: 19
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: UK
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly gay
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

You Should Have Casual Sex Before Getting into a Relationship.

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last year

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, paid sex; something else.)? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a guy studying at the same Uni at me. I thought he was cute because he looked like a comic book character and he was really ambitious. I can’t say I was attracted to him really because I wasn’t. But I was interested in him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was not planned. It began after a night of drinking. A huge amount of alcohol was involved. He mostly instigated it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I fucked him really hard. He said he loved how big my dick was and how it felt really good. That’s all I can remember.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condom.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I have been in a relationship since I was 15 with the same person and I never experimented with anyone. I’ve always been aware of this, and I think it must have affected my judgement.

I had a huge amount of alcohol in my system and looking back, it could have been consensual, but I do consider myself someone who was unable to make a proper judgement at the time.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol. So much alcohol I couldn’t function.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I regret it horribly because of the relationship I was in. The sex however, was pretty good (unfortunately). There is no future with this person and it jeopardised my future with my partner.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react?: A friend of mine I told.  They pretty much said it should be immediately forgotten and not repeated.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? This is tricky. It was consensual in the sense that I went along with it. But… I was so influenced by alcohol I could barely talk and walk. Which really begs the question, can sex be consensual when you’re that drunk? I don’t know!

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Because I was so drunk, had I not been drunk I wouldn’t have done it. And I did something awful. However. I never told my partner. Simply because I believe telling your partner, however you dress it up, is an entirely selfish thing if you’re truly sorry. Because you’re doing it to make yourself feel better and ‘fix’ the relationship. But the relationship could be fine, you’re the one who thinks it’s broken. Living with the guilt should be your punishment.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It was positive and negative. I had sex with a guy and I explored my sexuality. Unfortunately I have a pretty low opinion of myself now. It’s a shame it was under those circumstances.

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Before you go into a relationship, for god’s sake have casual sex. The worst thing is not feeling sexually liberated or experienced and being in a long-term relationship you didn’t realise would happen. Then you end up wanting to have fun before you get too old, and you end up hurting yourself, and your partner.

What did you think about this story? Tell us in the comments – just be nice!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!