What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 51
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? India
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Business
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Hindu
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
A 3-day Affair with my Online Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? 20 years back
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? No hookup
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Good looking, met her online, she came on a holiday to India, still feel good about her and we are still in touch occasionally as she has settled in a foreign country.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She wanted to meet me in person and took a holiday to India where I lived. We had a good 3 days time to get to know one another personally. We had been honest with each other during our online chats as well, so it was not very different in person either. The sexual part was good and satisfying for both. The first time was a bit cumbersome, but we settled down once we knew each others body and responses.
I took her in and around my town and it was a nice and short holiday for both. We still talk and reminiscence it once in a while, in a nice way.
We both have since moved on in our lives and I have married and settled in, she continues to be single as it is her preference.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As I had mentioned, the first time was awkward but after a couple of times, we settled into longer sessions with lots of foreplay. We had good sex for I think spread over around 10 sessions as I spend all the 3 days with her.
There was lots of cuddling and hand-holding even during out sightseeing and shopping errands.
We also made out once outdoors.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We knew there was no future ahead in the relationship due to our careers in different countries. It was just that our online relationship had reached a level to meet personally.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We were absolutely honest to each other, so it started and ended absolutely fine and satisfying. Neither of us regretted it.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? None
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It opened up my mind and broadened my thinking and respect for women
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nothing more
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I cannot call this experience exactly as casual sex, but in a way yes as neither knew how it would go in person.
Being from an Indian ethnicity, premarital sex and casual flings are a big cultural taboo and looked down upon from morality point of view.
But this short relationship cleared the clouds and made me look at sex as just another activity which if done with full respect to the partner, goes about bridging humanity in a better way.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? A good eye opener for civility
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