A Friend I Hadn’t Seen In Years



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Depends on the context
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A Friend I Hadn’t Seen In Years

How long ago did this hookup happen? A few days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a Latin American guy I had met when I was a teenager doing a cultural exchange year. We were good friends when we were younger, the relationship was always a bit ambiguous though. He was a bit older than me, had very masculine body that was quite hairy. I liked him as a friend but was also always kind of sexually attracted to him even though he was not really my type.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had visited him for the week end because I was travelling in Latin America. We had a really good time but I though he didn’t want to have anything sexual with me so I did not really initiate anything. The last evening we were laying on his bed to watch a movie. And we both started to get closer and cuddle a bit. Then I kissed him and we started to touch each other’s body.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I didn’t really like the way he kissed but I really liked feeling his hands on my body and his skin against mine. I had never been with someone that hairy before and it kind of turned me on. We masturbated each other. He kissed my breast and sucked my nipples and it really made me want to fuck him. He told me he didn’t have a condom and that we therefore couldn’t have sex. But I had one and only told him so when I really felt like having him inside me. So he put the condom on and then put me on. He looked like he really enjoyed it when I was riding him. And that made me feel great. He then came relatively fast.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We cuddled, and continued to watch the movie. It was a bit awkward but it still felt nice to be naked with someone. I told him I liked his body, he told me he liked mine as well. Then I left and I hugged him goodbye.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To two of my best friends

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Because he was a friend and because a part of me thinks I should stop hookups and get into a relationship

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He made me feel great about myself, I felt really desired

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The kissing part

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Hmmm, I think hookups can be good things but I start to realize that to make sex really casual and chill is not that easy. I wish I would learn how to manage the “after” situation better

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to not feel guilty about the number of people I have slept with

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!