I Did Not Consent

by TM

Gender: Male
Age: 43
Race/ethnicity: White English
Current location: Chicago
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Own a PR Firm
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Very
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 21
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? One

I Did Not Consent

How long ago did this hookup happen? Eight Years

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Non-Consensual One Night Stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’ll call her Inez, she was in her early twenties with long brown hair, a pretty Latina.  She had a big chest and a little black dress, just the sort I would get into trouble with .  I met her at a party for one of my clients

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Following my divorce I will admit I cut loose with women and would fuck anyone who would let me and I was still a few years out from meeting my 2nd wife.  My number went way up in just a year, and mostly it was women in their early to mid-twenties a bit younger than me (and yes my current wife is only in her late twenties). Yes I was that guy.
My business was doing very well, I had become a bit wealthy.  I get invited to parties for my clients all the time and it’s good for business to go.  I met Inez at one of these parties. I found her attractive and charming and intelligent so I was a bit drawn to her so I talked to her for a while.  I had two drinks, both Scotch and honestly not even really that much for me.  Still, I blacked out and Inez had at some point roofied me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Now I am not sure what to put here, to this day that night remains a blank until I woke up with one hell of a headache the next morning.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I don’t know, considering what happened after I had to have.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Obviously none

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I don’t remember doing so but knowing how I was then I would have if I hadn’t been drugged.  But I would have to go with I didn’t want this hookup

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Two Scotches on my part and Inez used some sort of roofie on me.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I awoke naked in my bed the next morning.  The sheets were a mess and there was lipstick on my cock and I found panties on my floor.  My shower had been used as it was wet in the bathroom and there was a towel and coffee had been made.  I could tell I had had sex the previous night.  There was also a note that said it had been fun but she could not do it again.  I looked around, checked my valuables as a friend of mine had taken a girl home and she had stolen a few valuable watches but nothing was missing.  It was hardly my first drunken one night stand recently so I didn’t think more of it.
That was until a year later when I was served with papers.  Inez was suing me for child support, apparently she had gotten pregnant that night and had a son.  While I can’t sit here and defend how my behavior with women was back then, I was always careful and always used protection.  In court Inez claimed we were a bit buzzed but the sex was consensual.  Arguing with a judge that you could not remember what happened wasn’t much of a case and I was looking at massive child support payments.  
Now this part is almost out of a soap opera or a bad movie.  A friend of mine is with the police and investigated Inez.  He learned and Inez later admitted that she had been taking fertility drugs and had been going around looking for a wealthy older man to father a child with her.  She admitted to drugging me and taking me back to my place. Inez also admitted to manually stimulating me and letting me finish inside her.  The judge threw the case out.
Now while I hate Inez and what she did, I am not a complete asshole. I do send a little money each month and there is a college fund set up for the boy that Inez cannot access.  However Inez will not let me see the boy.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A lot of people found out, most of them thought I had probably slept with her but it had been consensual until Inez confessed on record.  My one friend however really stuck by me here.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? As I said above, this was not a wanted experience for me and I did not consent and Inez took advantage of me

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Because of the whole mess of the lawsuit and legal fees it was an expensive hookup.  I also dropped that client.  There was also some damage to my reputation but I have since repaired that.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Nothing really good about it, worst part was the whole mess of the lawsuit afterwards.  I felt pretty dirty after what happened and it took me a while to get over what happened, I still feel I was sexually assaulted.  I have however been a lot more careful with women since I learned about what happened and I have not had another drunken hookup.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

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